Gestures of Kindness

I wanted someone who would wipe my tears away without telling me not to cry. I'm crying because I want to. I want to feel that pain. There is a reason. I am human and I accept that emotions inspire these sometimes unfortunate physiological reactions. Especially, given these stringently enforced gender roles that suppress expression.
I've finally gotten old enough to the point that I'll not only admit to crying but that I'll seek a woman understanding enough to accept me even while I don't fit the role of what she thinks a man should be. I cannot even find that in my family. They don't seem to be able to take any persons emotions seriously besides their own. All of their insults are birth from insecurity and nothing more. You have any idea how boring that is?

Even more so, my dearest friends, do pretty much the same. But here is the kicker: I'm always there. If I'm not there, then there is a very real reason why I'm not. I'll show up sick. I'll show up broke. I'll show up broken. I'll fight an orc or a giant, a troll or a demon. I don't care. I'll give my life to fight for my loved ones and all they must do is ask. You see, I do the minimum. I could easily put out more effort and reap in more benefits just to share with y'all. At least, I should say that in a past tense. To one person and only that one person am I being unfair but that's only in a few ways. They are being just as unfair to me. Have been for the longest time. So, that I'm balancing out the pain output...despite the timing...I'm barely bothered. Pressure burst pipes but it also makes diamonds. I need diamonds full of sunshine by my side not a busted pipe. God grant them the strength to get through it all.

Hopefully, the change in my demeanor doesn't run everyone away. I'm still trying to be the best me. I'm just not trying to soften the blows on anybody else. I ain't Jesus. If it does run everybody away, all I need to do is move. I'll make new friends, eventually. Because going how I was, my life was about to be quit...(not in a suicide way but more like a disappearing without notice kind of way). This was the most loving decision I could make.

I wonder how cool I'll be. To cool to hear the cries of somebody that was to cool to wipe away the tears of my cries. Beastly cool man. Ice Cold.