I do not like titles

One day, I was minding my business but being the typical me. And.....

If you haven't met me, I am a very light hearted and awkwardly goofy person. I don't see any reason for life to be so serious but I often rub people the wrong way with my senses of levity. I don't really try to do things in a manner that will get me painted as a certain type of person; I merely do what I think is both "best" as well as "safe". As far as my social persona, I am very vanilla.

At a certain time in my life when I was my most insecure, I did not feel insecure at all. The curiosity crept 'pon me as a shadow would, slowly stealing the warmth of my smiling face. The issue? I began to question intellect and what others had for intellect. Like I could have been missing so much and was barely keeping my head above water. Kind of like when a member of the opposite sex refers to you as sexy /handsome/beautiful. We tend to take those sorts of things with a grain of salt. I'd get  compliments of my intellect or knack for comprehension but it did not seem significant. I had to map out every move. If I didn't, I was much more likely to fail. However, when I could see it, beginning to end, I was able to make a seamless transition to success at any area of complication. This was the biggest hole in my "armor"/confidence. Others either already knew or didn't need what I needed. Like a virus, those relational aspects exploded outwardly, infecting other areas of perception. That light heartedness of mine really became essential to my overcoming that adversity for, if I were a pride driven man, I would have devolved into a beast of burden for the dollar. Experience would have won the battle to obtain my soul; I would have lost the "Sagey" part of me to the old timey mysticisms of religion. The aphorisms...the blind faiths...the whole of everything I avoid on a daily.

Instead of re-working this "first person heavy" effort, I'll simply attempt to change styles mid effort.

So, back to how this began. It was on the days, when most dutifully tending to the worries & cares for the day that life was interrupted by desire and confusion. Where the mettle of a man is tested to the limits of his cravings. Where new p**** decided to jump into the fray and try implement a "weight loss plan". It has been said that some people lose hundreds of pounds in a single moment on certain days. Where applicable, some of these weight loss measures are perfectly enacted. Other cases may be a bit more fraudulent.

Of the two incidents up for discussion today, one happened on the internet and the other happened live in full effect. They will be referred to as one incident that occurred on one day and in the form of poetry. In the real world, these events happened a year and a half apart.



"Encroaching on the sense of security,
the new day pushes the darkness
to the edge of perception;
rolling backwards,
the darkness reveals a yet to bloom flower;
the desire to pluck it grows,
best presenting itself as truth;
convicted to wait,honesty wrapped within self servile justification;
excuses to cushion the unavoidable fall.

Her lioness tears reek of loneliness;
inspiring lust;
reaching for the sacred place;
placing her softened kiss about the neck.
the power of resistance was taken,
taken & diminished by warm, wet softness.

Failures bloom,
baring weakness via vaulted fears.
alas, nobody hears them
wailing with opera dramatics.
Carmen, ripping the faithful
from the arms of the simple;
ruthlessly selfish.

Nobody hears the trouble
for, in recognizing the turbulence,
the focus jukes to jink,
leaving barren lands devoid;
abandoning the midnight lilies
freshly emerged from the fog
for another to pick."

Ironic.