Alternate Reality

Quite a few movies and series capitalize on the easy access zero dimension manipulation to explain how things worked out throughout their story. It'll be easier with a few examples. I will start with the most relatable "Inception".

In the movie "Inception" the manipulation of time (zero dimension) comes in the form of casting dreams within a dream. The usage is to describe how quickly the brain operates through functions using the missions as a metaphor for processes. The idea however, will not be what the masses observe or recognize. Through the expanses of time, each dream that is launched within another dream is given a exponentially shorter window to work at this heightened level of output. Basically, real life is 30% output, a regular dream is 70% output, a second tier dream 89% and a third tier dream being around 98% output. I based my calculations on the time that was allotted for each dream sequence without sustaining damage. This nonlinear form of seeing time progress is very complicated. The manipulation of time is why I decided to list this first. Things only get more complicated from here.

The Adjustment Bureau. A movie about destinies and alternating paths of active agents. The only real reason to mention this movie is because distance divided by time equals speed or something like that. Speed is in essence a calculation based upon time. Again a manipulation of the zero dimension. Not in the sense that people were moving rapidly but that it was more a manner of popping in and out of places that were separated by great distances, in a matter of seconds. Such a way to move. I like the way you move.

Next is "Limitless". The movie that illustrated that drug use could potentially up our output to near 1000% momentarily. The only real thing is that all the pill really did was adjust what it would take effort and TIME to actually do. Time was the focal point of the movie. Everything was based on time lines, the ability to overcome time and perform as if time were irrelevant. It really limited itself in the sense that it could have capitalized on stronger aspects of the brain but in trying to keep it from going sci fi, they kept it grounded and cute. Though, they pulled a nice save with it(and was my favorite movie all year) it just could have been better thought out. Timing was key. Timing was everything.

Naruto. This is an anime. One character in particular is the focal point. Though, there are other characters that manipulate time in various ways, the character I'm talking about is Itachi. He was the most indelible character ever fleshed out in the story. Why he is important is that at one point, he dies due a sickness. He is revived and basically denies the existence of his death. Like Lazarus he came back from the dead. Time being one direction, he took and added more time to his future than was originally available. While this seems like more of a reach, take a moment to think what you would want more of in your final moments. Most likely you would desire more moments. Somehow, the author supplied him with such.

If black holes were to exist in a manageable form that would allow us to travel like the video game "Portals" does, then our time would be greatly expanded. Moving furniture and stealing items would all change drastically. Running from sexcapades with people you shouldn't be having sexcapades with would be easier. The abuse rate would go up and limitations would do more than regulate that industry....it would cripple life on the planet. One thing we humans are good for is being dissatisfied with what we have in comparison to others. Time itself is one of the greatest weights that we focus on and clearly it is in very subtle ways. Those who manage their time well typically end up in better positions than the slackers do. Time is clearly everything because once you run out of it, nothing even matters. Lauryn.

For me, alternate realities happen all the time I have an argument and step into someone else's World to see how they see the things beyond them. As of yet, I am under qualified to write this blog...that didn't stop me. Step into my alternate reality. Come and see what I see...at least for now.

Silent Fears (The Art of Letting Go pt. 1)

Are you a person that loves to sing? Have you ever been trained? Well, if you answered "yes" to the first question but "no" to the second, then you are just like me. Perhaps you have a better singing voice than I do. You see, I sound fairly bad when I sing, especially when I'm giving my best effort. I do not have much control vocally. The point is, if you are some what like me, then you probably have a fear of singing in public and being harshly ridiculed for a lack of apparent skill.

Let this day serve as the day that all of that changes

This video and a few others expose just how bad I am at creating an atmosphere with my voice alone. It is a harsh reality. I can deal with not possessing that sort of skill. What I could not cope with was the cold-hearted harshness of the opinions of others. I would love to believe that I am borderline brilliant but I seem rather average and slightly lower than that in many ways. With this realization at hand, I ask myself what I hold anything back for? Why fear anything devised from the World of man?

And that is why this post was made. Maybe it will be a bit of spiritual encouragement. Not to do what is right at all times. Not to do what you want at all times. Not to do what is fun or unfun or dutiful but to do what needs to be done to find the best balance of living. Navigate the stream of life energies. Feel the flow of electricities. Let go of the nagging voices whispering like a coward out of the corner of darkness within. Stand tall and speak out. The first step to letting go is indeed acknowledging a problem exist. This is the challenge. Use my video to ply yourself from your phobic imaginings.

Only thing that it'll get you is a different trajectory. This is how you become legendary instead of ordinary. Be better tomorrow by letting go who you are today.

BNC - Skin

Blessing and a curse. My skin. My beautiful, well toned, brown skin. I thought I always loved it. I thought it was a source of pride and eternal defiance. I mean, I did not have a choice but to resist. I was born into this war, I did not start it. The side was chosen for me. Well, that is not altogether true.

I chose to see no flaws in my origin. As I compared the births for every color and the people within, I recognized nothing that separates me from other men. Of course, by that I mean besides my skin.

To recognize the potential for greatness was possible to attain; the improbable was the limit of what caught people insane. The verge of greatness and others pulled up lame.

I watched and learned and thought nothing of the hate. There were tons of racist and bigots that flowed this way. Thinking of their import to make their existence real beyond a perceive great.

People got lost along the road. Everybody born could be king. They usually lose out and tarnish their soul. Because they were never taught to cherish the fragility of that on thing.

So, I've learned from their mistakes and watched the way they did it. I thought I could explain it all the way down to the explicit. But really all I was doing was recognizing my fear unknowingly to them becoming submissive.

I awoke this morning feeling oddly aroused by the burden of the gift of my skin. How I could go nowhere that I've gone without unfeeling what I felt. That torment followed me. It excluded me. I've wanted to shed it for some semblance of relief. Nothing. No relief. So I retreated into myself where I knew love was. Because that is what I believe in. God is love. Love is God. Defined by religion, that God starts to not love people. The people mimic that ideal and suddenly instead of sharing the love of their God, they merely exclude and divide based on their fears and weaknesses. I believe this has something to do with the divide over the color of skins. Either way, I refused to be overwhelmed by their confusion. I focused on love and lost myself in it. My patience is proof. My tone is proof. I'm hard edged; straight edged. But when I awoke this morning and thought about how my skin covered me; how it chased every end of my limit; how it was the first thing people saw of me and thought of me and was surprised by my ability to not let it limit me and how I've grown beyond what seems to be an unmarvelous foundation. And I thought I loved it. I was less than fanatic but too calm about it; too sure that it was a great skin to have.

I just don't know anymore. As much as I am grateful for my skin and all the blessings that come with it, for the first time in my life, I look at it like it actually helped to bring me to where I am instead of me being the engine; the agent of change. And that thought was overwhelming. That I had less talent and personality than I perceived and it was more about what I didn't say than what I did say. That is completely underwhelming. I basically got to an obstacle and was not found wanting which let me pass unscathed.

So, my skin is a gift and a curse just like everyone else's. We all have a burden on our shoulders that we place on one another. And I've finally acknowledged the depth of mine. But as I grow, I learn more. This may not be as deep as it goes but as deep as I can see for now. For now, I will continue to do the best I know to do. The best effort I can muster. I'm not as smart as I want to be. I wish I were. I wish I could make the best decisions to connect with the people I want to. I found what I thought was the perfect woman but maybe I don't deserve her. Because as great as it seems our connection is, I aim for the target and miss all the same and I cannot blame her for not loving me through and beyond that. Some times losses are what makes us see just how we fail. It is how I came to see this skin in the first place, somebody took a chunk out of my pride by calling me a name. I will take that loss and every other and fight for my future. Like nobody else, I am building my momentum to winning the future. One step at a time. One breath at a time. One heart beat at a time. I will find the future. Walk with me.

One Button Keyboards

You ever wondered what life would be like if you could just think everything out mentally without needing to physically operate tools to scribe your thoughts to a medium? Like simply turning on your computer, waiting for it to load & pushing one button to publish your truest thoughts to whatever your purpose was. Wouldn't that make life a bit too easy? Don't y'all think there is a part of our humanity that requires our overcoming of daily obstacles? Wouldn't that life be boring to live?

Once upon a time, the simple life appeared to be the easiest one to live. That ideal no longer seems applicable to the World. Who can simply sit around and play all of the time?

There is more than one way to skin a cat, choose one. And when you choose that way, do not waver. Hold firm to your trajectory. Do not allow the winds of change to budge your vision. If you must adjust, be sure you are the one to implement the adjustments.

There is nothing an excuse can do for you but to illustrate a weakness. Find that weakness and the determination to overcome it in the same breath. Live strong by recognizing your weakness and not by ignoring them.

Sure, I'm stumping from a blog post on my nearly esoteric blog. From this angle, I'm sharing the difficulties I am overcoming as they flow in and out of life.

What the Seeds did for Jack

Give the credit where the credit is due. The ability to perceive the World outside without bias or confusion is a necessary function for adaptability. The caretakers of your youth require appreciation for your foundation of life.

Beyond that, the people that, we idea "pollinate" with, can lead to miraculous adventures in thought. We'll take this and lazily flip it into a metaphor for how seeds of thought being planted in our mental cycles creates a bigger and badder version of our psyches. Or maybe I'll simply suggest that ignorance & arrogance are siblings.

We all should know by now that ignorance spreads like wild fire(if you came and are reading what I type, the amazing amount of detail and thoughts I leave out will frustrate you IF you don't already know or accept somethings as fait accompli). Like people who attempt to neuter the government with legislature = bad idea. If that is an idea you struggle with, then anything I type will be difficult for you to follow and or digest. Why? Because there are some things that are self evident. Sure, some of what I say will be more inaccurate than other things that are often said. The accuracy however is not dependent on emotion or limited cognitive abilities as much as it is limited on purpose for the goal in which I deem valid. My life, my thoughts, right?

Back to ignorance being spread like the flu or some other contagiously designed pathogen. We speak with confidence things that we may only partly believe in. But in this World were fact changes every day, the lazy people do not desire to learn with a passion for adaptation or growth. The purpose is not to lean on intelligence like brick and mortar but to see it more like a gas that fluctuates and leaks from the container as it propels the container further along the lines of life. Interesting angle, right?

With the right tweak in which to see self and actions of self, talking with others can make for an interesting moment in self reflection. Not in the sense that one is constantly measuring self against others but using others to reach inside self and draw that which resides within to the outer most realms of psyche. And by that we share more than just words and thoughts, physical movements and mannerisms with each other. These things are seeds for the future. And though my impertinent impatience drives me to write tepidly, I still put my entire heart into my shaky effort. Could I write better? Absolutely, but this is the best effort I was willing to give. Yes, I am saying this is my best because this is where I limited myself. My love is helping me to grow beyond it. Do you follow what I am saying? Ask and ye shall receive.

I don't struggle with my reality, I struggle with yours

This makes everything make sense right?
Any argument, any fault or failure or misunderstanding. It explains everything don't it?

Okay, truth and barely anything else matters when there is no exchanges being made. The moment there is a flow between two entities, the fidelity of intent and content matter more than one could measure.

Anyways, I've never been in this position before. I've always been in this position.

I feel literally too good to pass up. I have all the character content, the determination, the history and the intelligence and thirst for knowledge to be an indomitable force in academia. Why haven't I been there the entire time? Why have I wasted my years experiencing the pain of loss and being left behind like some unwanted possession? Why would I bother allowing myself to fall to near certain emotional death? The pain is without parallel aside from death. It sounds crazy but to understand, you'd need to know what was on the line.

I won't share that much, even if nobody read it. My darkness doesn't become lighter because you feel like it isn't nearly as dark or twisted as you'd imagine it COULD be. Key word there is imagine. I was dealing with reality; my reality. Doesn't change the heartbeat in my chest being sharp or the hunger in my gut being absent and despondent. The darkness taunted & tempted me with everything I could ever have wanted. Seemed so easy to give in to. I resisted for one reason alone: I was told to embrace the darkness that I would need to release love.

If any of you know me, love is the reason I live & breathe & hope for a change & work for a growth. The one thing I struggled to relinquish. At one point I thought I had been capable of doing so and felt thoroughly liberated from the constraints of giving an actual damn. Until my phone rang and my heart swelled to the heights of the Heavens and burned with the intense heat of Hell. At that moment I realized that I am birthed of love. A love child even. Raised romanticizing the chemistry and enjoyment from the embrace of a lover. And that was it. I realized that no matter how others see reality, my view will always come from silver eyes that peer at the World through Rose colored lenses.

Make me a punk. Make me a fool. Call me what you want, that doesn't change what I really am.

I woke up one day

I woke up one day and decided that my life was running out of import. I wasn't committing to any action. I was just sitting in a room calculating the future on a tablet. I decided that I had to get out there and risk my skin. I decided that for me to win, I had to play the game. So, I surveyed my hand. I settled on moving to complete a task I once left unresolved. No matter the reason, I now have motivation like no other.
See, to question the merit of my action is to assume that my accuracy in belief of why I move is true. If you don't like my response, then do not ask of me. I am only human. I do my best.

Now, free form ranting aside, I realized that I cannot leave one unsettled situation for another unsettled situation. I want to give my best in everything I do. I am doing too much currently. I had to stop thinking first. One of the hardest things I'll ever do.

Next, I have properties that need to be mitigated and moderated. That is the next order of business. Then I will go into ironing out the remainder of my unresolved attachments. By the end of the year, my life will have reached a breaking point that I will look back on and be satisfied that I grabbed for my groin and marched forward with both fear and hope clutched tightly. *evil grin*

Tomorrow is scary. Why? Because I haven't been there before and there is much that I would rather not lose. However, the only thing I currently stand to lose is everything I care for. At least if I take a risk, I won't lose everything. And I will definitely gain, even if it is only respect for myself for owning my destiny.
Destiny not in a grand sense but in a "Where am I going and why" sense. No fear will conquer me. Hopefully, from this point on, fear will no longer weigh on my heart. I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of succeeding. I'm afraid of happiness. I am afraid and tired of being that way. Though, I know of no person that can cleanse themselves of fear without losing sanity and be aware of it. My goal is simply to push forward and commit my heart, energy & love to becoming a cherished product of this American experiment.

I don't want to lose my love. For people.

Stealing Myself Back

As individuals, there are moments that determine how we interact with other individuals. At times, these moments surprise us with a reaction that we did not expect of ourselves. Humans are very complicated creatures and we spend our entire lives attempting to simply get a grasp on how everything we interact with inspires us to feel on the most intimate of levels. Sometimes, it is other people that pull these surprising interactions out of us. Sometimes, they get more of us than we would prefer they did. This is where I am coming from.

You see, once upon a time, a young and slightly quixotic "Sage" decided that the only way to be was kindness. Within this kindness was wrapped an endless forgiveness & understanding. Some of you may be chuckling for the naivete but this childlike state of mind was able to persist unaffected by the jading years of young adulthood. Often, offering love interests far more of self than necessary to achieve their affection. This has always been a painful process for anyone who practiced it. It however is no more painful than any other process, it simply deals with the pain upfront and directly. In an effort to circumvent my former naivete, I decided to steal myself back before it was taken...for granted. This is where you laugh because I made a funny.

That seemed like it worked until one day I awoke to realize just how much of my was carried out in fragments. These fragments were stored like a puzzle in a box until all the pieces were acquired. Then flawlessly this puzzle of me was put back together with 'nary a taste of pause. And now awake, I realize this home is nowhere I am familiar with. I was stolen; I was lost.

I could only aspire to retrieve myself from this foreign landscape. And I crafted stratagems, revising every angle with new tactical advantages, performing reconnaissance whenever necessary. This was an all out war of emotional attrition and every second was treated like a potential last moments. The edge was mere centimeters away like the ground was caving away from the centuries of wear and degradation, chasing my progress in stealing myself back.

Upon feeling the familiarity of an environment, an atmosphere of automatic acclimation a form of relaxation touches down upon the zenith of stress, urging it downward as if usurping gravity in its dominance. Realize that everything has to be replaced into their individual positions. This time, secure them in the light so that they won't be stolen in the darkness. And sleep with one eye open because you will, like I did, hate stealing yourself back.

(Songs that inspired this post: Bits & Pieces by Van Hunt; The Way That I Love You by Ashanti)

I crashed a jet...ski

I go to the gym often. Sometimes while I am at the gym, I will strike up a conversation.

This guy I happen to strike up a conversation with took a liking to my personality and decided that I'd be cool to hang with. We went to a bar once, talked about life and played pool. Simple enough.

A week later, I'm going down hill in my personal sense of efficacy and worth. I'm losing my grip on reality. And he calls me up and offers a hang out spot with some homies. All goes well except we were bored. So we went to a dance joint and he got danced on by some Samoan girl and I just sat in the corner doing what I do. Chillin'.

Anyways the next day we decided to go boating and what not. Seemed like a fair enough deal. I couldn't figure out why a player like him, with all of his monies and womens would want to hang out with a semi-educated square like myself. Perhaps, it was my laid back demeanor. All the same we pick another friend who has the jet skis.
Three jet skis and a boat. Ballin.
We out there for hours, having fun. Until they broke two of the jet skis. The one I was riding was still working, I decided to jump back on. Little did I know that the voice in the back of my head telling me to chill out was going to be right this time.

We are driving parallel for a few minutes and suddenly I decided to slow down a little. This was the undoing that I was not prepared for. Also, it may have been a saving grace. Because I look over see the boat, I look back in front of myself, then as I go to look back at the boat my vision gets stuck on the boat invading my path. I quickly turn the jet-ski side ways and throttle as hard as I can. Still I am too late and slide right into the side of the boat. I'm thrown under water. Despite the life jacket, I swim down because I literally fear the propeller. I look up and wait to surface. Then I attempt to swim back to the jet ski. My pride is damaged. Yeah, I know, the boat got in my way. Yeah I know, I had little chance of actually evading the accident. It all happened in what seemed like seconds. And it was probably all done within the span of 15 seconds. I look over, I look back, I go to look over again and react.
I almost feel like it was a set up. I almost feel like I was trapped into that set of consequences. But so be it.

I don't really plan on hanging with dude much more after this. And maybe I am being scammed but the cost was low and I had a lot of fun. I'm really just grateful I got out unharmed and all. I'm only paying for half of the damages.

But we'll see. The way the rest of this plays out will determine how I look at this situation.

I'm still thanking God on this one though.