Slut Shambles

Hi. My name is Sagey Bear and I think I may be a slut shamer. I don't like promiscuous people. In fact, I have a great disregard for promiscuous people. I hope you've noticed that I'm saying people and not women. I hope you also notice that I'm straight; not bi- or gay. These are important facts to establish "why" what is important to me, is important to me. As in I'm not, even remotely, interested in what men do with their genitalia. I'm not checking for them. However, women are within the reigns of my primary directive. I want to know who fits into my plans...potentially.

Of course there will be women who are immediately turned off by the idea that I have preferences - go figure. Don't they have preferences? If they don't they should and that's a tremendous red flag if they do not. There are very many ways with which to take up a perspective and view the pros, cons & nuanced differences behind each reasoning on as to what is important. To understand that, you've got to understand the person behind the preferences. Any reasonable person is only going to desire a partner that has similar or comparable practices & traits. Let's not forget how very important sex is in general. People sometimes die behind sex; live their lives in the pursuit of sex; commit crimes to achieve sex. There is no surprise when people over indulge or recklessly engage with many different partners. We aren't plants. That sort of cross pollination is mentally unsanitary to the sentient being. We have this thing called "Psychological Health". Well adjusted & well geared individuals aren't just linking up with others for the sake of a momentary high. There is a moral; an ethic; an integrity; a standard...a foundation for consistency of commitment to an ideal other than whatever strikes at the moment. Being free and loose with it inspires insecurity. If it does not, then the person not shaken by the past is setting themselves up for failure. What institutions don't look into the past of their potential partners? Isn't it silly to let a business hold a higher standard for interactions than a personal interactions? Isn't it silly  that minimum wage jobs have higher duty at a requirement for consistency than a woman would expect me to have regarding her past? Oh, you don't like the comparison? Tough luck. I'd rather not deal with the emotional issues that accompany sharing your body with hordes of individuals. Because I don't deal with those issues, personally.

I have the same requirements for myself that I aim to hold against a potential partner. It certainly isn't a one way street. I want someone with similar experience, someone I don't need to explain why I see what I see a certain way. It's really the simplest approach possible. Regardless of how gracefully forgiving; how amazingly humble; how absolutely loving, the disparity between experience will affect perceptions and contort the dynamics. There is no avoiding that. One person either eats what they bring to the table and work on a level lower than they are at or they suffer the other person while attempting to coax them to a higher level. Being on two separate levels of experience is a fractioning & discordant relational status.

We all see people who don't know who they are with. We see people who lose themselves in superficial emotions & desires. Probably more with women than men. But nobody is being blamed for seriously trying. Sow your wild oats. But do me a favor, don't look my way. Go find somebody who sowed his wild oats. It is patently ignorant to say have sex with anybody you want and expect people who were reserved, studious and devoted to an accord of self-restrain to desire you. That doesn't even make sense. But this is where I break. Everybody should be able to find love and I think they can, if only they open their eyes. And being a slut is no different than being anything, really. Of course there are some things in this world that we cannot control. So, when it boils down to it, I'm not so much as saying sluts are bad people - I don't believe there is a such thing as bad people. I don't think there is a such thing as good people. I don't agree with the law of man. I don't even think I agree with the law of God. I've been disqualified by women for that lack of agreement. But I am correct. Where the laws say it is fine to judge some but not others - wrong. Where law says that there is only this or that - wrong. I did not get self-righteous and say the person was "Agreement shaming" me. I mocked them, yes. I disagreed and talked my shit, yes. But I didn't make myself a victim. I'm not saying "slut shaming" victims are reaching. I'm sure some are. The ones I've encountered, are.

If you decide to read between the lines, make assumptions and conclude how others think because they go against your thought directions, then your pain is all your own. Your perception shaping your reality, making you think you are being persecuted. Of course there are bigots. I'm not one.  I can have my opinion as you can have yours. I don't feel the need to designate titles for other people. I do, however, feel free to describe the actions. If those two different things are the same in your eyes, then I cannot even entertain a conversation with you. Such rash equivocations are silly in my view. No malice. No desire to interact. Titles for people =/= describing an action. I don't care who you sleep with. I don't care how many people you sleep with. If I'm trying to be with you, it is important to me. You think I'm petty, childish, immature, silly, archaic? Fine. Feel how you feel. I'll warn you that such is heavily bordering on hypocrisy. "I can have an opinion about who is engaged in sex but you cannot have an opinion about how many people I engage in sex"? Lol...same shit. Opinions don't match. Fundamental differences in perspective lead toward incompatibility. It doesn't stop there. Move on. Grow up. You wanted to be you, right? Then why be mad that somebody else wants to be who they are? Everything is muted from that point forward.

Slut shaming is baseless beyond purposeless persecution. You aren't interested in her? Then look away. Stay concerned on your own plate. Nosy folk piss me off. Mind your business. Let them live. Just don't come to me with triple my body count and think I'm gonna be alright with that. What else are you bringing to the table that levels shit out. You get to bring more baggage, but everything else equal? There will be tremendous fighting and I don't want to do that with someone who didn't have faith that I existed. It means something to me. If it doesn't mean something to you, then you've already assaulted my ego three times with one instance. One for how my desire; one for making me feel more common for having shared you with more people and one for taking everything I am and saying it isn't significant to you. Why would you want to hurt somebody like that? You may not care about frogs and lily ponds but the frog cares.

Slut shaming is just another way to say, I want an opinion of how you live your life. I don't. Fuck 99% of the world if you want. Just don't come to me, lying, hiding or refusing to elucidate on your past. Those are grounds for dismissal and signs of incompatibility. Why would you want that? It isn't about slut shaming. It is about remaining accountable to the choices you've made in your life. There are men in every walk of life that you could match with. As you are, there is no guarantee that anybody can match with you. Always move towards growth. If you don't want to do that, then recognize that that is a personal choice. And fuck off with playing the victim. beautiful women have passed on me often. I have passed on beautiful women. shit happens. I don't really care. I did when it happened but I look back and gloat gratefully that I was allowed to proceed unencumbered. My growth is the most important thing to me. Women have come to me; pledged to me their entire being; begged to have my children, to be my wife and left me alone all within the same week. Not just one woman either. I say that to say, be grateful when someone would rather diminish you than nurture you. There are too many people on this planet. You aren't required to stay where you are...and if you are, then you're to blame. Get up and move. Tis a big planet. It's only a small world when your world is small. Your world is small only when your mind is small. Your mind is small when you know everything. Seek to not know everything.