Recently, I eased up on my restrictive regard of curse words. I actively attempted to avoided them before. Minor conflict. In one way, you look a bit more raw and unrefined when you use the words. On the other hand, you appear more believable and honest. Something about composure intimidates people. I've attempted to adjust to find a universal balance. I don't do the things that would be required to maintain such a balance. My life is full of chaos so much so that the only things that really interrupt my sense of peace are women and heartache. Violence? Water off a ducks back. It's like a fire burning a log. Assess and estimate the course of action; take that action and go on about your day. I'm not desensitized to violence, it simply isn't note worthy to me. I think that sounds weird. I'm "think-speak writing". I'm not the type to be bothered by thoughts, if I were, I'd be long since lost control. Instead, I accepted thoughts as a manifestation of latent desire and limitation. A mental confinement of sorts. Some people cannot deal with the crazy. I harnessed it. I put a leash on it and walked it around a 'park' in my head. The crazy is my bitch but some times it tries to escape. I think we all deal with that. When emotions flare. When the situation is unreasonable in every way and people persists despite being informed the utter futility of the direction of their actions. I need to cut all these extra words out without editing the piece. How about this take on it? In life, we are constantly attempting to maintain a balance of output, input, neutral & .....nah, I need better terms. How about responsibility? Either way, the words I'm looking for describe the need to feel purposefully connected to the rest of humanity; the need to feel allowed to disconnect from the worst portions of humanity and the ability to not think about either while enjoying something that is a product of everything you are trying to ignore. The ideas get muddled and the words mean a little different across the regions of these here States. All I'm saying is, instead of resisting and denying anything that comes out of my existence, I turn to accepting any and every conflict that my consciousness invokes. I refuse to fight myself. I still do at times. But these are mild and accumulative. So, the side that should win eventually will. I'm sure most are much like this. I see that crime and criminals are a marginal problem that is not necessarily proportional to the population. It still feels that way. Fear & ignorance are virtually the same thing from how I see it BUT also the most prevalent techniques utilized for interacting with the world. Avarice plays into that well. And our world becomes like it is even after you eradicate all of the current fear and ignorance. It is never ending. The constant co-signing of ignorance is a huge problem. People sharing fears is an endemic problem of Capitalism because it's easier to give that free fix away in order to establish a customer base. Damn. I'm just saying, the system is cold fusion. Cowardice is a self sustaining industry that creates these mental schisms of divergent thought and ultimately fractures individuals who aren't necessarily caught by the initial wave of schizoid frenzy.
We need Sociopaths for this society to press further. True. We need people who look for the bottom dollar instead of just being considerate and tolerant. Even with that, we need less of them than we currently have. Because now, I don't wanna use curse words because I have a tendency to come off as scary. It is all very humorous if you have that sort of sense. But whether an individual is crazy or not basically has nothing to do with the thoughts they have but the thoughts they allow to effect them. I have some crazy assed thoughts and this tirade is evidence of that. But I'm far from crazy. I've done a lot of reckless things. I'm not afraid. I'm simply aware of the consequences and not anxious to incur them. Exploratory than a mug.
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