Obsessions of a Compulsive Problem Solver

Well-intentioned, hopeful and strong-willed young men often develop the natural protective urges to protect their family from harm. However, being young and inconsequential to any real threat instills a need for the ability to overcome weaknesses. This is where movies like Home Alone remove some of these physical limitations and express the idea that if there is a will then there is a way. 

Young men "eat this stuff up" because it fulfills their need to feel important and viable as a threat to ward off any and all intruders. None of this should sound too wild to anybody. I'm speaking from experience this far. 

There is a point where this tendency and desire to be effective against every threat goes too far. Where being too protective or proactive becomes an issue with how other people who care about you "can" live.

In another perspective, men typically have an easier time sharing socially because of this urge to help improve things. And when you combine that with childhood conditioning and superhero complexes, women have a tremendous effort before them to overcome the distance between a man and his desire to make the World a better place.

Clearly, I fit into this description. Clearly, I've struggled with balancing my need to take care & protect my loved ones and respect their need to face adversity. We all need to grow and we cannot do that without discomfort. I've been chided for my efforts to protect my loved ones from agony. To the point where I feel low and discarded. And whether that is what really happens, that is what I feel and know. It can be no more real to me than it already is.

No matter where I go from this point, I am focused on eventually walking out of a self-imposed Hell. Every bit of relief leads me to delusion. Honestly, delusion is the only thing that keeps me going.

I wonder how you all deal with it. Any thoughts?

The Bitter Pill

We see ourselves as people who, in thought, are better than the results, our actions would indicate. Pointing fingers and acknowledging the wrong doing of another person is the first sign that the World you see is a facade in reality. There are many reasons for this and none of them lead to an absolute process of definition.

A static perspective is often the only indicator that there is an issue at all. This static indicator often arises in situations where you feel that you know the other person is at fault. You are unwilling to relinquish what you "feel" you know. Voila, this is the bitter pill to swallow. This is why you are wrong, even if you are right. Instead of focusing on such negativity, labeling and other weak attempts to level the playing field and steal the control from the other; there could be more understanding, more open and welcoming communication and less hypocritical stances to ensure that the responsibility of maintaining a positive rapport with the other is not purely placed on the Other's ability to be patient, submissive and understanding of deeply seated neuroticisms.

Things become easy to move forward from when the other person is always making the sacrifices. Like how non-Blacks would like to forget slavery; like non-Native Americans would like to forget Indians were the first proprietors of Northern America. It is easy for the wrong doer to suggest turning the other cheek but how cowardly is that? How much growth is their in not owning a personal fault?

I honestly do not know a way to gauge growth in acceptance of personal faults however, I'm sure that not much is to be had when the struggle to overcome such is all about the length of three breaths and a change of subject.

I can only hope that my pains to grow, my efforts and my determined persistence will be heralded as a source of happiness. Only time will tell. I hope this bitter pill serves you well as the spiritual medicine for transgressions of the past so that you may avoid the same tendencies in the future. Savor the flavor of the bitter pill. 

About me and World Issues

When considering what the focal point of World issues should be, I realized that attempting to summarize the endless continuum of social anomalies was something that nobody should even consider. Not because it is impossible but that once one problem is rectified, another will soon supplant the former in priority and necessity. This cycle would more than likely be analogical to attempting to the cartoons where the character of primary focus is in a boat filling with water through multiple holes located around the inner perimeter of the boat. This character attempts to plug the leaking holes with fingers but because the character cannot plug all holes at once, each hole shifts in importance as the boat takes on more water.  This renders each effort virtually futile. I digress.

Typically, when covering World issues, there are a few characters that seemingly refuse to change. These characters are hunger, pollution, wild life, human rights and poverty.  How to approach a situation where the people with the power and privilege to initiate a change are incapable of improving the very lives they personally lead simply due their arrogance? Where education is rarely cherished and competitive comparisons determine whether you live or die financially simply due to pedigree. Yes, where is your family from.

So, to the thought of World issues and how to solve them, I say that there is no way to solve a World issue without first improving self to a level of awareness that the small obstacles don't block progress to a bigger stage with bigger obstacles.

"All that is necessary to make the World a better place is for you to make yourself a better you." 

A Lit Match

To say that life is full of difficult situations is an understatement. The truth of the matter is that we are completely responsible for the chance occurrences that implement the changes in our lives. This is the basis of struggle.

What path you choose is completely up to you. Blame nobody else. Seek improvement in yourself and how you do things. This will make you a happier person. Have confidence in the people around you and expect great things from them because eventually they will not only achieve to your standards but will appreciate your encouragement.

Celebrate every accomplishment. Congratulate yourself on just surviving this far and becoming who you are. Things could have been more poorly influenced and you could be a lesser refined individual. Acknowledge the events that improve your perspectives and make sure not to repeat a mistake too many times.

Love freely, openly and naturally. Don't let anybody limit you or anything you do. Define yourself.

Don't be afraid to speak your mind, it may save you years of agony in trade for moments of discomfort.

Be confident in your decisions. You made a decision for a reason. Growth changes perspectives but don't think that throwing away what helped you grow is good thing. You don't discard sunlight from a plant, you need to keep it in the light. 

Finally, emotions are deadly, express them, liberate them from your heart. Keeping them in will eat away at your passion and determination. Your will to survive is linked to these things.

Remember that setting goals is a great practice. And that tweaking them is even better, don't settle on the first thought but don't easily discard it either. Love them both and see which way the stronger love takes you.

Thank you for reading.

Thoughts on Unrequested Critiques

This is judgment. This kind of judgment is born of insecurity and comparison. This means that when they are telling you about you, they are really thinking about themselves.

The sadness about this is that the individual judging is most likely never going to be privy to the fact that they are pointing in the mirror.

This is because what they are really saying is that they think that they can relate to what they see. When words come off like that, generally speaking (meaning the rule of thumb for this situation) is that they are indirectly co-signing.

Thus, it is with a heavy heart that you realize it isn't a persons place to tell you about yourself because of them self-snitching. What can they do to get their point across? Grow up. Yep, that is it.

-Ross

Forever Eternal is now, not Tomorrow

Imperfect.

The desire rest upon 
the haunches of the heart 
bellowing forth 
a passionate determination.

Subject of attention.

Come close.

Let the whispers of intent float 
softly into the ear and bang 
resoundingly 
against the drums to create 
the initial impression.


Fill with affection, 
that great expanse of emptiness 
created by those who came prior 
and snapped in to pieces that love, 
Those that broke that heart 
into bite size morsels.


Rending tear-stained soul with a cowardly retreat. 


Sweet drops of rain fallen upon thine cheek from thine visions. 


Allow this unfettered change with gravity "like" time.  


And forever in lap shall that love be found.

Fragile Winter Phoenix

5 reasons Why Verysmartbrothas.com Makes Me a Better Person

 I grew up as an army brat, traveling from place to place and not really having any roots.  Eventually, my mother grew tired of the constant transplantation(hope you laughed) of our family and decided to root when I was about ten years old. Ft. Lewis in the evergreen state of Washington was now home. For most normal kids, this would be the perfect time to snuggle in amongst peers and grow like weeds together. However, I was not a normal kid.

I did not like how childish the other kids were, the things they talked about and all the mindless banter that they would focus on. I was always thinking about becoming a great man that could help and save the World.  I always kept close to my heart that when confronted with change, that large groups didn't use new information but relied on the old tried and true word of mouth to define their arguments.(the World is flat, the Sun revolves around the Earth etc.). And this alone is what birthed my spirit of rebellion from all things conventional.

Instead of arguing opinion against opinion, I would grab a dictionary, encyclopedia or other point of reference because I knew that my opinion wouldn't be respected nor accepted. However, this led to a sense of superiority. This sense of superiority kept me focused on improving but also dulled my senses just enough to complicate my social interactions.  Finally, I'm at a point where I realize, I must not be as epic of a brain as I anticipated because I've failed to become God by the age of 25. *smirks* I was cute in my head. Anyways, this leads to the list of 5 reasons why VSB is improving my life.

1. Reality check 

Feeling like the only half intelligent black person can be a very overwhelming way to feel but to awaken to the idea that you are one of many and not even the top 10 at that can be immensely sobering and liberating at the same time. I felt like little foot in the first Land Before Time.  Welcome to the Great Valley.

2. Camaraderie

Finally, I get to share ideas and have people recognize the intelligence within the thoughts I convey. Whether they disagree or don't see the point in it OR they admire the route I took with my thoughts, there is a level of acceptance that just hasn't been accomplished in real life. I haven't been called stupid, retarded or dumb once. That is so easy to appreciate.(Psychologically speaking, that means I don't make any of the VSB'ers feel intimidated with my intelligence-oh, how I love it).

3. Open Discussion

It is very hard to have a discussion with someone that has too much on their plate. You don't feel right talking about little things because bigs things are always popping up and it is more important to iron out large disturbances first and the little things take a backseat. And that may be a failing approach but let's be honest, thats how most of us approach turbulence. VSB, doesn't necessarily deal with personal issues but it covers so much material on a weekly basis that they cannot avoid covering something that is super personal to somebody. (SN: I'm not only impressed with their ability to write something everyday but their dedication to writing.)

4. The Spectrum of Participants

The idea for VSB is great but VSB wouldn't be half of what it is without the patrons that visit on a daily basis and keep the comment board pumping with responses and conversation. It is a veritable smorgasbord of personalities and perceptions. Everybody has a different story to tell and different strengths. And just when I began to feel like I had none, I was openly co-signed for something I did not value about myself but now I've learned to value it as a strength. Without VSB, it would have been years until I wised up to it.

5. Familiarity

Despite the amount of readers and commenters on the site, becoming some what familiar with the type of people involved gives the site a very friendly atmosphere. Where it isn't often that somebody loses their temper or disrespects others with a cold disregard. And more times than not, the community steps up to govern itself. Like Dead Prez said "We don't need police." I say this because it reaffirms my belief in society. It is basically my "keeping hope alive" statement.

Anyways, this was my way of saying thank you. Not only to the creators, the moderator or the person who showed me but to the others that go there on a daily basis and keep it bustling with intellect and opinion.  For what its worth.

Okay, so January is Gone?

Its the first of the month - Bone Thugs. January was chock full of craziness. I hope things cool off Worldwide as it is now Black History month - February.

Since we're on the subject of Blacks, (which are minorities and minorities primarily associate with Urban hip-hop as their niche music) let's talk about Urban hip-hop and the minorities that listen to it. 

Urban popular culture(hip-hop) is still a massive disappointment to those who experienced all of the ooohs and aaahs of the passed generations of Urban popular culture.
This is mainly because artist had actual credentials behind their dreams whereas nowadays anybody who says "swag" the most in one hot 16 is the baddest rapper out.

Tattoos, once meant something but now they've been trivialized as if they were an accessory or make-up for men. Skinny jeans and sagging skinny jeans has become popular almost to an ubiquitous degree. 

Let's glance backwards quickly to contrast a few things(this will not be a comprehensive list).

90's

-Baggy jeans

-sagging

-gangsterisms, thuggin'

-real rivalries

-writing from personal experiences

-no internet bootlegging

-inclusion of popular quotes and phrases of wisdom in popular songs

-Break dancing/B-boy'ing was the main dance style of bedazzlement

00's

-skinny jeans

-sagging

-goonisms, D-boy'n

-fake rivalries for the sake of publicity

-hiring the best Ghost writers

-bootleggin' via internet

-trying to be the most clever or highest in every song

-Krumping has been very bedazzling to watch evolve. other dances like thizzing, pop-lock&dropping, laffy taffy  and blah else were trends.

Given that some items on each list can be used to explain the occurrence of other items on those lists, thats fine, I'm not perfect and neither are you - stop judging me.

Going from big jeans -too loose to move around properly- into skinny jeans -too small to move around properly- is more like a "hand me up" from your little brother. 

That is a sign of regression instead of growth.  I believe this all originated with the idea of the throwbacks. Who truly knows?

When you had talented singers with awesome ranges and dedication to their crafts, we got some timeless songs.  Now, we have a bunch of singers with despicably limited ranges.
The argument that there is no quality music nowadays is wrong, though. We just seem to buy whatever is catchy and instead of sticking with artist that demonstrated talent as opposed to personality.

That makes you want to ask, Who's to blame? Well, the answer is easy, who is supporting the cheap plastic artists of today? Yeah, blame them.

whadya think...am I off base with my assessments?