To Step on a Frog

Before we get started, I have not yet read to kill a mockingbird and it is on my reading list. It is one of the books I bs'ed my way through in Highschool.

Anyways, this simply has a somewhat similar title and should be in no ways similar but I wouldn't know. End Disclaimer.

A lot of the time that I spend reading throughout the day is opinion and loosely referenced science. Hardly any of it is validated in the manner scholarly journals are validated.
Sometimes, the only thing I read in a day is a blog or a facebook page of a pretty woman, not because I'm thirsty or looking but just because I enjoy looking at pretty faces. Its like watching fishes swim. It soothes my everything.
Anyways, all this empty reading is like fastfood by being immediately ready for consumption, barely any real nutrients and typically bad for you. But it is still better than not doing anything at all. That don't make it worth doing.
I'm in the process of changing my habits. Matter of fact, I've been in that process for well over the last year. Yet, I have still not found a set of habits that I prefer. I've come to realize that I develop anxiety when things begin to settle in and desire nothing more than to break the chain of habit. Thats the only thing I have in the proximity of a habit; the jumpiness involved with breaking habits.
I want to step on that frog, quick fast and in a hurry.
I need to continue pushing my life forward because for the last three years I've been somewhat stalled and hopeless. It has nothing to do with women but if you asked me, it had everything to do with women. I want kids. Eyes bigger than my wallet/stomach on this one but that don't even matter to me. I feel like I'm getting old. I want to be with a woman around me age. But at this rate, I'll be way over 35 before I have children. I have a ton of fears and these fears are subtly interrupting my everyday flow. I wake up future oriented and out of it. I'm pushing toward the top of a mountain that I should not even be climbing as of yet. And this dissonance is disrupting -to a major degree- my ability to focus on what I need to be doing RAHT NOW and that is improving myself and my daily habits.
I'm a gym rat, too many people recognize me there and are too comfortable in talking to me. Thats just the way it is. I cook almost two meals a day so I eat alright, it could be better. I could read so much more but again I get antsy sitting there with a robust thought process, I've read entire chapters and not even realized that I zoned out while reading and don't remember a single word. A shame. I typically have to read a chapter three or four times when that happens and some of these chapters aint short.
I've been working on reading faster, I just don't like the way it feels. My eyes are uncomfortable. And while I'm whining...lol, jp, ijs.
Thing is that I realize that a great deal of my issues pan out to be little more than self-pitying excuses. Rather than acceptance I focus on what distracts me. On the outside, it is hard to tell the difference between acceptance and excusing. On the inside it is a completely different feeling. That yuck...it makes me jumpy and I'm going to step on that frog too.
Point of the entire post is that getting jumpy is going to happen in the process of changing and improving self but the best thing you can do is to step on that frog of jumpiness and move on with a confident stride and augmented composure.
Step on a frog a week and see how many frogs are left after a year. Pretty soon, you'll be walking like Obama and doing the Obamie.

'til then...its all love. Peace