21st & Rapture

Some person, somewhere in the World decided that the morrow would be fittingly titled the beginning of the end. That is right, the apocalypse has apparently become imminent. And I refuse to worry, however, that doesn't mean that I don't care. I do.
When posed the question of "How would you spend your last moments before the apocalypse?" I responded with what I felt fit me perfectly. That was sitting in some beautiful scenery, enjoying my favorite foods, reading my favorite books, listening to my favorite sounds and being at peace with the World, myself and the flow of energy around me.
I do feel at peace. 99% of the time. The only thing that brings any disturbance is the women I choose to associate with romantically. Awesome women but they may not be the most mature or understanding femmes I've ever met. And that usually is an issue. Anyways, if the World has met the end of it's timeline, then, there is no need for me to allow such a petty disturbance to plague me.
I suffer the loves of my life. They know I love them. Despite the violence in my heart I am always gentle with them even while angered.
And this is why I could take the time to enjoy the scenery without the need for debauchery.
The imagery inspires me to want to cry for the solitude that my vision represents.
That I seem to feel happier alone, without the people I care about. That hurts my feelings. It makes me wish that I had a different, more involved perspective of these people that I've studied so closely over the years.
Ultimately, I feel like my view of the potential final minutes are akin to me saying that I don't feel loved. And that seems like spiritual desolation. At least I stand strong behind the convictions and moral standards that I view worthy.
It takes a lot of effort to be this disjointed and pensive. To ramble on semi-coherently.
Yeah, I've turned down a lot of women. I've turned down a lot of women tonight. And people think I'm arrogant BUT I see and acknowledge what they don't. Attraction. Eyes fixated on mine. And suddenly I realize why I came to my blog to post this: the woman that stole my heart has been acting weirdly. I needed to get that off my chest. This was my process. Thinking of the loneliness I've had all my life. Thinking of why it always felt like any thought I ever had was going to be me enjoying the things that only I enjoy. Like my view of the upcoming APOCALYPSE. I'm still alone, I still would rather be loving someone, inside the perfect woman or eating her subpar cooking but I recognize that it will just be me...alone. There is nothing wrong with being such a loner. At least, I hope there isn't. Somebody love me? Okay, thats at least half a joke.