Revisited for the third time

I have written of personal responsibility several times.
I have used slut shaming a few times.
I have used sexual partners a few times.
I probably seemed coarse, arrogant and some other big words that help people feel better after they feel judged.

Let me rephrase: I only care about your sex life if it intersects my sex life. Fellas, every single one of y'all can leave at this point. Our paths will not intersect. Thanks for reading this far tho.
Ladies, I know my opinion may get on your nerves or even offend you. If it does, that's okay, I don't want you. Spend your time finding people who do want you. Not hating people who don't.

Why do I want a woman with a low number? Well, I have several reasons. I'll be as concise as my smart dumb ass will allow me to be.

-I don't have a lot of experience with a lot of women(I want to be well matched)

-The approach of having sex with a lot of people means they aren't as serious as I am.(It is disrespectful to claim otherwise with how they handle sex).

-There aren't that many quality dudes out there for you to go through more men than I have in women and NOT be married. Not possible. I only dodged marriage by sending my girlfriends to other countries...otherwise...I wouldn't be single.

-I can't respect a complete lack of prudent senses

-To be forward thinking and purposeful is a key element of who I am and it inspires an irascible reaction out of the folks who think less seriously of sex than I do.

-I'd never be secure with her. I don't need to have the biggest dick or be the best in the sack. But I can't trust a leopard to change its spots simply because it said it could.

-How horrible are you at working through relationships to have so many that end so rapidly?

I don't think much of whether my list is reasonable or not. I want the person to be capable of understanding my basic motivation isn't sex. Sex won't resolve anything and it can only complicate your situations in life. I have always had a solid understanding of this. How can we be equals if you're just now learning what I've known for a long time? How can we exchange on an even field without me having to lower my head to your ignorance? You may think this is all about my insecurities or the size of my soldier. That would be too convenient. Point the finger at me and try to force me to answer for my views without owning your shit.
Truth is, this isn't about right or wrong. This shit is about compatibility. And I'm simply NOT compatible with a woman who has connected a few too many dots around town. Feel how the fuck you want to about it. As I said in my last post, you can choose who you want to fuck and how often but I can't choose who I want to fuck and how often because I may be using the wrong information to choose? Sorry, not sorry. Your logic is ass. Just keep projecting your opinion and expect opinions like mine. Opinions that you don't like. Opinions that say your opinion is wrong.

And that isn't even the crux of it all. If I choose to have an opinion of your worth, that's my choice. If I base your worth on how many men you've fucked, how does that make me wrong? And let's be clear, we're not talking sex crimes numbers. I know a lot of women have been raped, molested and neglected by our society when it matters most. Don't try and skew the issue with shit like that. It's wrong, should never happened and doesn't count against a woman. All that aside, the men she chooses, those do. Just like the food I eat makes me fat or the crimes I commit make me guilty. The people a person sleeps with makes them undesirable. If all I slept with were Beyonce types, you better damn well bet that women would be more interested in me for no real reason at all. I have seen this to be true. I know it is a scientific truth. When we value a person of the same sex as a competitor, we are more likely to see the person they are with as highly desirable. It's a simple truth. Ask any woman that has walked by me. They get cat calls and mentions of their beauty they never got before. The shock was odd at first but it normalized. Do your own research, you'll find the same things to be true.

Exclusivity is a basic tenant of our innate programming. Men lust after exclusivity from their mates even if they don't want to be exclusive. Women lust after exclusivity from their mates even if they don't want to be exclusive. Human is human. This human however, is only interested in a proper match. It's not like I'm ugly or stupid or have a bad personality. I'm handsome, smart and charming...at times. I have quite literally turned down far more women than I've even found interesting enough to talk to. I want a woman with a certain essence that she isn't willing to share with countless men. I may never find a woman that "fits" me. I may have already found her. My resolve to live up to that standard strengthens with every iteration of this argument. I've known love, warmth, blah blah blah. You might like being loose or whatever you call it. I am not thinking about yours, as I'm busy running through my selections. Believe what you want.

I have quite a few more reasons for why my lady won't have 20 bodies on her. I have an unusual personality. Not just any random woman will be capable of withstanding my ways of doing things and I can only be made fun of so often by somebody who thought the local thug/drug dealer was a good idea for a boyfriend. It's an insult of the ugliest order. You don't get to mock me when you dated a guy who allowed himself to be a victim of his environment. You don't get to act all high and mighty like your too good to do certain jobs when you took dick from a dude and his low rent friends. You don't get to change how you feel and treat me worse than you treated someone who truly didn't deserve you. Those are things I SHOULD take personal. You lower my stock...my price...my worth by doing shit like that. Supply and demand. You supplied the neighborhood but decided I had to wait 90 days? Laughable. Bitter...smarmy...call me what you want. But how self unaware is it to think I'd be the bitter one in the exchange? Remember, I'm the one turning down the offers. I'm the one preserving my sense of self for someone I determines is worthy. I'm not hurt by any of it but I will type about it, especially since it is on my mind. Especially since today, I've decided to take a principled stand against the back handed, undermining grasp of ignorance. This was at the top of the list.

So, what were my arguments?
-incompatible mindset/approach
-extreme differences in belief
-invalid investment in self worth
-major taste differences

We won't get into the STD's or anything like that.
No kids, strong morality, sense of social worth & reputation management.
College degree, employable skills, great family.
But I should settle because she only slept around in college.
But I should settle because all those dudes are in her past.
But I should settle because my ego shouldn't be so....w/e.
But I should settle because you would do it in my position.

How about you manage the game you've played and I'll manage the game I've played.
Deep replay value, more bang for your buck, more character development.
More personal recognizance to speak for me as my past illustrates my character for me.
Every woman I've ever come across will have far more great things than not so good things to say about me. The same goes for my friends. The same for acquaintances. The same for passers-by.

The only people that consistently seem to dislike me are the people I don't give a pass for being walking, talking pieces of shit. They say shit that sounds good most of the time but that one time, I let them know they said something foul, they get mad and gotta make me disappear. It is said to be telling of an interpersonal conflict with who displays the most anger. That is the person who usually has done wrong. The other person is typically unaffected. Of course, that's just an old saying. It simply rings true in the situations I'm thinking of. Tho, there were times when I was the angry party. I remember my outrage was based on the horribly inaccurate perspectives. Also, when in conflict, I spend most of my time clarifying. I have a tendency to argue with people who are saying the same things as myself. I usually only continue those arguments to see when they'll catch on. Sometimes, folk just want to argue. I hate arguing. I try to end the argument with outside, official sources as soon as possible.

But Black women will be the quickest to say some scientific study doesn't apply to them like they are something other than human, then get mad when people hold them to that estimation. I hate the hypocrisy. Still, nobody has ever loved me like a black woman has. My trick to being able to love Black women? Each one is different. Their own persons. Some are really sweet to me. Others are really bitter, salty and shitty to me...all for no reason. Some for other reasons. Nothing I can really do about how they feel. And of course, if you are insecure and lash out because you think I only date white girls, well that's your ignorant assed loss. I've never so much as hugged a white girl too long but I've gotten that same bitter bullshit song and dance from sisters soooo often, it makes you wonder if some of the shit they complain about is retaliation instead of outright assault.

I ain't out here shitting on anybody...ESPECIALLY not Black women. I love them too much. I won't call any out their name. I refuse to diminish them. I've only dated Black women and yet, they still judge me without knowing me. How the hell can they expect to get anywhere treating people that way? First impression: Operation, let's make a new enemy. The fuck is that fresh at? Yeah, I rambled from sex partners to black women. You can stop reading any time. Imma keep going tho. I'm tryna clear 5% of my thoughts. I'm being ambitious. Black women have picked me up when I was down more than anyone else in the world. Unfortunately, if I'm going to be honest, they have put me down more than anyone else in the world. I ignore it but it keeps coming back. I rise above it but they keep the cement shoes on my feet. And the worst feeling of all? That all I want is a black woman to call my queen. One I can feel confident in marrying because she won't selfishly destroy me for being too lost in how she feels about the flavor of the week. As much as women talk the game about men, they want the men that will lead them to destruction. It's some stupid gene in the mind where emotion rules. I don't want them ANYMORE. Give me one where the brain...where thought influences feelings.

I'm not built for those women who can only feel and can't think worth shit. I got a woman that I'm deeply interested in at the moment. She's really sweet. And I thought all these great things about her. I spent time pouring over the little words and gestures....agonizing over the ideas that she shared. I wanted to analyze the compatibility. You see, I came out of hibernation for her. If she isn't worthy, I'd rather just go back into hibernation than anything else. Y'all don't know how I feel but it's hard getting excited for my ABC's when I'm reciting theories and concepts. And a lot of these women out here not deeper than puddles. I can't even get wet in em before it's the bottom of the day. Did I make myself too deep? Fuck you no. I am who I am supposed to be. If there ain't someone who can be on my level, then I don't need to be with them. This new woman, she doesn't sparkle as brightly as some I've seen but that isn't the most essential aspect. Intelligence is not a deal breaker. Personality is far more important. Yeah, I'm smart as shit and sometimes I have a very hard time toning it down. I fly over people's heads so often that some joke that I have actual wings. I don't try to make anybody feel stupid or less smart than me. Never been my goal. I'm always focused on something else. I'm always looking towards a goal. I'm purposeful even without a purpose. I'm passionate even without a desire. I just go. HARD. I do me.

So this woman, I expect a lot from her but I get my hopes up then I see some shit that makes me feel like I bet on the wrong horse. I see her mention this ex shit far too often for me to be comfortable. I'm not the patient type to wait and find out if a person is fucked up mentally. I'll just leave that situation. It's a horrible look. When I want somebody to love me for who I am and they keep checking up on someone who failed to keep them for whatever reasons. That's a way to have me ACTUALLY ANGRY. Which, I might add, is the least fun thing in the world. Not to mention that people seem to be afraid of me in general. All the way lose lose.


While I'm just popping the cap on my thoughts, I'll go ahead and stop there. Lord knows I could type for hours on end and not even touch the 20% marker. Sometimes, the gift and the curse of intelligence, even slight intelligence like mine, is far too much to bear. D'ah well. Eat what you crave. For now, I crave the young lady's attention and affection. Wish me luck. At least I know she was purposeful with her relationships. That much checked out.

Don't be made that there are people like me...you need us....we go behind and correct the wanton reckless failures of folk who don't pay enough attention to detail. LOL