I had so much despair in my life. Very few things seemed to be going in the right direction. I started losing my patience; decided to not talk to people; got to the point I was going to start cutting people down with honesty. I was wilting under the pressure of my lack. The best support I got was more of a hindrance than it was a help. Frustrated, forgetting my resiliency & jading against the shine of sunlight, I was growing proud of the sharp and evil waiting to get out....and I was fighting every which way...I literally closed everyone out. Then I randomly hit up an old homie...was almost selfish about it but I had enough compunction to ask how he was and the talk lifted me a little. Then I went to see my favorite person and they set me back a little...I almost wrote that person off...but I wasn't completely cold hearted and I allowed that person to talk to me. And got a little more better. I'm not sure of a lot right now but I know I got things I want to do and I ain't doing these things. It makes me angry at myself. I am really hard on myself. So, I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide from myself but truth be told I probably wouldn't be able to be alone with my voice when I'm beating myself up. So, I decide to vedge out and watch a movie. Just so happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time( I hadn't seen it at this point but it was just that well made). The movie was "Crazy, Stupid, Love". The entire movie is awesome. Matter of fact, I laughed so much in the first 30 minutes that I felt great enough to go to the gym. That's right, it amped my motivation so far that I couldn't enjoy that movie any more than I already did. I return from the work out feeling good, feeling great. I watch the remainder of the movie and at no point was I disappointed. I cannot remember the despair that rested in my chest but I do remember all of the hope pumpin through my veins right now.
I ain't zoned out and relying only on my imagination to push positivity through these fingertips. At this point, I'm so excited that I'm ready....just ready. I feel fairly reminiscent of who I know myself to be. This wordy exchange between me and my keyboard is indicative of such. I know that nobody can reach in your heart and help you to feel better because you aren't stupid and you are nobody's fool. In the same breath, you know you best. It may not happen today, it may not happen tomorrow but don't give in and always try. Treat yourself with enough respect to put forth the best foot you can. Whether we call it luck, faith, perseverance or persistence, the good will come. ALWAYS REMEMBER that if things are bad, it won't last forever AND if things are good, times unfortunately will change and cannot stay good forever. Take it in stride. Sometimes, the most important part of the day is that moment between two breaths. Let's get it in. Make the good happen. Whatever your means, whatever your method, do your best!!!
(Forgive my horrible everything on this attempt...the idea is to get better. I wrote this on facebook...I was amped, what can I say?)
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
New Music - Ain't Feelin' it
Don't be led on by this title, this ain't as much about music as it is about the people who have helped produce this current environment.
Yes, another pretentious, self ascendant perspective of another's character analysis. Why am I always breaking down schematypes of generalities when it only serves the purpose to make me seem "better"?
The answer is simple: it is indirect and the best way I know to say that when people make whack decisions and try to glorify it, I see them as needlessly compromising their humanity for the sake of ego.
Sure, I'm human and I don't know barely anything. Ask me a question. More than likely, I'll pause to think about it. Next, my response won't be deep or well produced. What I do excel at is digesting actions and classifying the threat within. Even at that I'm only moderately gifted.
But I'm not much different than anybody else. We don't have these extremely gifted folk at every turn. Very few of us actually have any real talent. When we break that down, we don't have the backgrounds that are conducive to making us really want to observe a skilled artist. We want the person who we can mimic the most. We want the most quotable lyrics. We want the highest value for the minimal cost. Guess what, we get highly manufactured carp at that point. This is why Fast food chains have seen unprecedented success despite the innumerable lawsuits and anti-fast food advertisements. It's like we don't care because we haven't learned how to. We don't practice it. You know what we do practice? Yeah, we are taught that we aren't supposed to care about so many different things and we practice it so that we can go to sleep at night and smile in the morning.
This is the attitude that I feel contributes to the music industry's departure from seeking out purely talented folk in exchange for the money making and commercially reproducible type.
Yes, another pretentious, self ascendant perspective of another's character analysis. Why am I always breaking down schematypes of generalities when it only serves the purpose to make me seem "better"?
The answer is simple: it is indirect and the best way I know to say that when people make whack decisions and try to glorify it, I see them as needlessly compromising their humanity for the sake of ego.
Sure, I'm human and I don't know barely anything. Ask me a question. More than likely, I'll pause to think about it. Next, my response won't be deep or well produced. What I do excel at is digesting actions and classifying the threat within. Even at that I'm only moderately gifted.
But I'm not much different than anybody else. We don't have these extremely gifted folk at every turn. Very few of us actually have any real talent. When we break that down, we don't have the backgrounds that are conducive to making us really want to observe a skilled artist. We want the person who we can mimic the most. We want the most quotable lyrics. We want the highest value for the minimal cost. Guess what, we get highly manufactured carp at that point. This is why Fast food chains have seen unprecedented success despite the innumerable lawsuits and anti-fast food advertisements. It's like we don't care because we haven't learned how to. We don't practice it. You know what we do practice? Yeah, we are taught that we aren't supposed to care about so many different things and we practice it so that we can go to sleep at night and smile in the morning.
This is the attitude that I feel contributes to the music industry's departure from seeking out purely talented folk in exchange for the money making and commercially reproducible type.
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