One way day

I had so much despair in my life. Very few things seemed to be going in the right direction. I started losing my patience; decided to not talk to people; got to the point I was going to start cutting people down with honesty. I was wilting under the pressure of my lack. The best support I got was more of a hindrance than it was a help. Frustrated, forgetting my resiliency & jading against the shine of sunlight, I was growing proud of the sharp and evil waiting to get out....and I was fighting every which way...I literally closed everyone out. Then I randomly hit up an old homie...was almost selfish about it but I had enough compunction to ask how he was and the talk lifted me a little. Then I went to see my favorite person and they set me back a little...I almost wrote that person off...but I wasn't completely cold hearted and I allowed that person to talk to me. And got a little more better. I'm not sure of a lot right now but I know I got things I want to do and I ain't doing these things. It makes me angry at myself. I am really hard on myself. So, I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide from myself but truth be told I probably wouldn't be able to be alone with my voice when I'm beating myself up. So, I decide to vedge out and watch a movie. Just so happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time( I hadn't seen it at this point but it was just that well made). The movie was "Crazy, Stupid, Love". The entire movie is awesome. Matter of fact, I laughed so much in the first 30 minutes that I felt great enough to go to the gym. That's right, it amped my motivation so far that I couldn't enjoy that movie any more than I already did. I return from the work out feeling good, feeling great. I watch the remainder of the movie and at no point was I disappointed. I cannot remember the despair that rested in my chest but I do remember all of the hope pumpin through my veins right now.
I ain't zoned out and relying only on my imagination to push positivity through these fingertips. At this point, I'm so excited that I'm ready....just ready. I feel fairly reminiscent of who I know myself to be. This wordy exchange between me and my keyboard is indicative of such. I know that nobody can reach in your heart and help you to feel better because you aren't stupid and you are nobody's fool. In the same breath, you know you best. It may not happen today, it may not happen tomorrow but don't give in and always try. Treat yourself with enough respect to put forth the best foot you can. Whether we call it luck, faith, perseverance or persistence, the good will come. ALWAYS REMEMBER that if things are bad, it won't last forever AND if things are good, times unfortunately will change and cannot stay good forever. Take it in stride. Sometimes, the most important part of the day is that moment between two breaths. Let's get it in. Make the good happen. Whatever your means, whatever your method, do your best!!!
(Forgive my horrible everything on this attempt...the idea is to get better. I wrote this on facebook...I was amped, what can I say?)