Saturday, April 20, 2013

Organize your thoughts

What is organization?



or·gan·i·za·tion

  [awr-guh-nuh-zey-shuhn]  Show IPA
noun
1.
the act or process of organizing.
2.
the state or manner of being organized.
3.
something that is organized.
4.
organic structure; composition: The organization of this painting is quite remarkable.
5.
a group of persons organized for some end or work; association: a nonprofit organization.



In my eyes "organization" is a form of preparation that allows for events and constructs to develop smoothly. In essence one should prepare their thoughts. I think I'm horrible at this. I wish I weren't. I am arriving at the cusp of change.

I began blogging nearly 3 years ago. I did not expect anyone to ever read any of it. I felt like my voice would go largely ignored because I had nothing "relevant" to share. I don't really like talking about other people too much. And the vast majority of my entries have been about the emotional difficulties I face while interacting with others. In some ways, there has been tremendous growth. In other ways, I don't really care all that much to be grown if I perceive a pointless threat. I may simply respond in kind. It is not that I do not know better but it is more that, given my current outlook, some approaches yield a better result. The worst part of it all is that my application isn't nearly clever enough. I'm fairly impatient about everything I do but outwardly I seem undisturbed. I want, want, want & want. Frustration would cause me some great discomfort. Now, I rarely allow myself to become frustrated. I try my best to remain in a state of preparation which allows me to react with the most appropriate response.
In order to get to that point, I made an effort to outline some extreme situations and then determined how I would respond. The easiest was violence. I'm a lucid dreamer so I did this in my sleep. This gave me ample time to consider my weaknesses in hand-to-hand combat and the importance of a proper response in unarmed vs armed scenarios. I made sure to tie in memories and compare my abilities with my senses. When given a complication that requires information that I currently don't have, I devised a way to break down the complication by what it effects. Like a linguist when they break down a word. Anyway, it was in this manner that I began to organize myself for events that are fairly likely to happen but have yet to happen.
Very little can remove the surprise but much can be done to remove the latency between occurrence and reaction. One thing that I have had the most issue with is communication. I don't know if it is because I spend so little time talking to people about people or concepts but I often find that I have no idea how I want to say what I want to say. Perhaps, I am trying to actively recall too significant a portion of experience but I should be capable to recall the world & all of her infinite mysteries. This is the miracle of humanity. Or maybe my delusion of grandeur. All the same, I know a lot but I don't spend enough time to put each duck in a row. So, I come off as passionate as compared to "well read". I have even caught myself echoing this thought for the last few years even when my passionate is beginning to appear more lukewarm fire than blazing inferno of dedication.
A troll. That is what lukewarm gives the impression of. Trying to be sincere in every situation. Silence had done wonders until I threw it upon the wayside of life. Now, I speak first and strongly so. Nothing appears to be prepared aside from the conflict mitigation strategies.
I remember, almost never thinking. Vastly misconstrued as a steady thinker when in fact the echoes of the whispering winds flowing through my ears form a most spectacular section of flutes. At night, focus is so amazing that homework could be done, although, not entire assignments just whatever problems I carried into dreamland with me.
At this age, I am desperately trying to understand what blocked my ability to understand things in an academic setting. I really have no idea what was so difficult to grasp. In what great many ways have I been cheated. Perhaps, I simply didn't have the strength for it. I desperately needed a different approach to intelligence, information and education. This current system was horrible for me. Such was not in my fortunes. Too bad there is only one me. The next me could be an intellectual beast. Not that I'm too shabby the way things are now. I could have read many more books; actually done my math homework; taken the time to force my instructors to do their jobs. I was so unfairly immature. I needed to be broken from my sheltered world. It really was a disservice. Maybe I'm here today because of that. All I know is that I need to start from square one if I want to get things organized now. And that's fine. Such an endeavor should only take me a few months. The entire k-12 education. I think this is a challenge I want to accept. <---if you cannot discern, I just devised the idea in that sentence. I'm type-thinking. And I'm reminded of Billy Madison.
The moral is to organize your thoughts so that you aren't caught off guard. Who are you but the person in the moment. Unless that interferes with you enjoying your life. Enjoy your life.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

What my eyes see

Let's just say, if seeing is believing, that the world is wrapped up in facades and illusions. The recipe is by a wide margin, in truth, the difference between life and death. As I type these few words, the concepts are inspiring a great many directions with which to proceed. Honestly, the weight of it all is overwhelming and I did not anticipate that I would take this topic to such depths. I do not believe that I will work through it all before I post it. I will sincerely charge myself with the duty of going further to write it better than I have anything in the past.

Shall we begin with the small common denominator? Okay, that brings us to our first definition: life. That is the fundamental reality that allows each of us to interact with existence. The next fundamental reality would be youth, as youth transcends simple definition of being young and pervades even into mindsets. Following youth would be education. Education is important because it is what ingrains the essential values with which an individual approaches existence or reality. Finally, I would wager that there was another spectrum to measure attributes and that would be physicality. However, the nature of that is so closely mated to that of the other three that for now, I need to simply relegate it to a mere mention and nothing more.

Life. What is it? Several billion people are attempting to understand the meaning of that question right this moment. Tens of billions and perhaps hundreds of billions have been evacuated from the realm of the living. Who has conquered life, I mean truly conquered living? Is it the monk who chases harmony? The Brahman who pursues transcendence? Is it the warrior who attempts to physically carve a meaning out of life or the king who attempts to control it by a means of authority? Perhaps it is the religious figure who distorts the imagination and claims the inspiration of divinity. Or it is as simple as the insect who crawls from a hole in the ground, only to be swallowed up in a slight drizzle of down pouring waters; forfeiting life to duty.
Life is a brief experience where each existence decides which portion of the continuum they devote these moments to and then dutifully do so. I do not know anything beyond my limits and such bares no need to be stated, however, life & living is all about a balance -that much is painfully obvious.
It is a story that is repeated to us time and again yet we are either to captivated by our own power or rather deceived by our perception of greatness. Life is simple. Living is complicated. Without living your life, there would be no complications. There are a great many pretenders to proclaim pseudo-requirements to justify having lived. Yet, from nary a script I have read, have I seen that knowing any pain or joy regardless of how minimal, satisfies the conditions of having lived. It is always some small pleasure that these great philosophers use to justify the presumption that their life held more value and was more worthy of praise. But without the great many "lessers" the great few "greaters" lose all meaning. No part of the system is more fundamental than that. Lose either part and all meaning is lost. This goes a bit deeper than I'm taking you but I'm not attempting to prolapse your brains from your ears.( I took my first break at this point as I desire to rest my fingers and change my perspective a bit as a method of peer review...don't call me crazy).

(A few hours later)
In our youths, we believe the world to be a fantastical place that is filled to the brim of miracles and wondrous joys. When we raise our perceptual gazes towards the horizons, we begin to comprehend the endless sorrows, pain & ignorance. Life becomes more complex not because we got older but because we released ourselves from our youth in order to gain wisdom. The wisdom however, was to realize that letting go of youth an unnecessary action. That sort of freedom never had any need to flee. It was chased off by a lack of discipline. Youth is chased away as if it wasn't a gift to be giving and cherished. Youth isn't simply vitality or naivete`. Youth is a confluence of realities that take place in the innocence of the mind. When honesty is the only manner in which an individual may move forward.
Youth cannot be severed from time or relevance but all of that is based on a particular moment in life that is different for each individual. Without coding words too deeply, it is without the bias of time or the jade of bitterness that the epitome of such be found in the eyes of a withered soul who has realized what they had to gain by reclaiming their youth.(Talk about being abstract for abstracts sake...sheez).

Education is inviolable. If you do not have education, then what makes you any different than a wild animal? You are taught to speak; to act; to think; to live. You are taught so much that rarely does one so adroitly maneuver thoughts for the act of doing. The more Science takes its grasp of the world, the more crucial the implementation of educational facilities becomes. Education makes the difference in how an individual approaches the world. It is what arms the individual with that individual's "unique equation". There may not be an easy way to determine the potential a person carries with them within each scenario but each will respond consistently to stimuli. Nothing within the human brain is randomized. The "adaptive unconscious" is working around the clock, diligently. This has an amazing influence on the way that we perceive reality. With our reactions mapped out and our beliefs determined, there is very little yet to be decided. This is probably the most illustrative reality. The things an individual does, speaks for the things they haven't done. The limitations and contradictions lay themselves bare. The complications are exposed for particular events and the distinctions become mere obstacles that were impassable to that particular soul. The persona maps itself and freely screams that existence to the world.
It is really rather simple. People who are extremely loud or quiet suffer from excessive fears. The fears are most likely social fears. They would most likely word these fears as apprehensions. Yet, a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. And yes, the ability to appreciate the smell of a rose is indeed acquired or cultured into an individual. All of these things come from the "Unique Equation" of the individual. Each is different. Timing is an independent variable that has a tremendous affect yet not necessarily significant. The equation will be what it will be. Only the individual can change that and only if they have enough education to know that they may require equation augmentation. (I've become such a loon with what my eyes see but that's precisely why I'm sharing it...because it seems crazy).

These things are what my eyes see. I was unable to go too deep into it and I was very antsy while typing this up. I strongly desired getting up and moving about. I desired doing basically anything else. If my focus wasn't sufficient or my thoughts trailed, you'll either forgive me or you won't. It is difficult to simply sit still and not go pick up something heavy 20-30 times(because that is what I wanted to do the most). Now, I only used three separate identifiers but in my eyes, there are many more ways to break this into much smaller categories. And I could have been more detailed but then I may as well just author a book. At that point, I may as well continue to write and research and read until I expire. I do like my coining of the phrase "Unique Equation" however sophomoric it is ultimately revealed into being. Either way, I WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED. I could do much better and if I can get to a point where I remove this anxiety from stillness while typing, I may just achieve coherent typed thought. Until then, please bear with me.