The Black Chuck Norris

Billy Blanks, Wesley Snipes or Pipes, Denzel and Will Smith could all fit into that iconic, existentially transcendental niche however only one man need to be exalted above the likes of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. & Malcolm X: President Barack Obama.

Ten reasons as to why Obama should be venerated to such an extent:

First, his undaunted perseverance through the fires and flames of the inflammatory idiocy that inundates his every waking moment.

Second, political etiquette. It means so much for a grown man, in the public eye to behave in a mature and composed manner - to be African American(read:Black) on top of all that is really a strong message to send.

Third, He represents millions with his disenchanted youth up to his refining focus and wisdom with age. He is the American dream.

Fourth, when taunted by racists, he doesn't directly attack them but strategizes(you know what I mean) and maneuvers beyond their uninspired yet forceful feints.

Fifth, He was a poor student(Apparently??) and became a better student. Eventually, finding prestige, he became a role model of social obligation.

Sixth, we don't currently have a Black Chuck Norris type and the First Black President is an AWESOME pick.

Seventh, Women love him. He is popular because of his refinement. He is hip and in the know. Because he is translatable and loves teachable moments.

Eight, he has no prior kung-fu back ground but offers new and novel ways to be memed; especially with all that he has done.

Ninth, This is our chance to make him as risky/edgy and aggressive as we want him to be. For everyone that complains about his lack of "juevos" they get to imagine him with big ones and just maybe, imagination will influence real life.

And Finally, Tenth, his Chi-town loyalties bring out other Chi-lites like Kanye, Lupe, etc. Who can create positive change with their already existent messages.

Whether you agree with me or not, you must admit that it would be fun to have a running meme of Pres. Obama laying the smack down on all who oppose the U.S.' finer qualities(i.e. freedom and reasonable wealth).

Speak, to me; tell me how you really feel and say it with yo chest!

its all love

What I Can't Share

A heartbeat-esque pulsating of the air or is it just nervousness? No, there is something different about this situation. Maybe, its being asked the most intimate and difficult question anybody could poise before a lonely soul. Maybe, its because the answers mean that there will be dramatic changes in maturity levels and responsibilities. Perhaps, there is no simple answer as to why things have come the breaking point but the simple truth is that there is no going backwards in time. Keep on keepin' on.

Often, when considering dramatic scenarios in life, it is one of two things; either love or money. Nothing else moves these stubborn human creatures.

Money is a fairly simple topic and rarely does the opportunity for massive upgrades in the influx of money present itself to be available.

Love on the other hand, is something that can take a massive leap in upgrade at a moments notice. An individual may never know what sparks an interest from a potential professional private parts purveyor & patron.

And its not the question that has been asked that causes anything to happen. The aftershock of the question and the realization that life can never be the same is what not only traumatizes tomorrow before it is at hand but changes today from rain to sunshine and vice versa.

The conclusion may not be deep but some questions are better left unasked. Sometimes, not knowing can save a life or two.

The Exhibition of Outstanding Ignorance

When well read as an individual, stories become mundane or redundant. The creative "new" idea is little more than a minor variation on pivotal details of some exalted storyline. Dubbed "rendition", "reboot" or "remix", the general ideas of the new movie are not altered greatly as to retain the "magic" of the original movie. This fear of essential change while in the midst of superficial change is the mark of an average beast. This is a metaphor for individual personality. Apply it to the mirror.

Even in broaching this topic of introspection, there is rarely a novel direction for discovery as the canvas that is the human mind has been thoroughly scoured, picked and subsequently prodded. However, there is one advantage that few realize is an advantage. Time.

Consider, that a singularity along the width of a continuum, happens every second and can never truly be revisited or reproduced. This ubiquitous deference is the minimal for a creation to be time-less, even when that creation is a persona.

Performers are great at capitalizing on a persona to fit a moment in time. This ability to capitalize on a single moment is why these individuals grow to being idolized; inundated with adulation.

The "eye" for such appraisals is far more worthy than the depth of any intelligence, riches or perception of power. The "eye" itself is the essence of perception and perception is the essence of belief and belief is the essence of existence. Without belief a man is onto himself a menace without a word spoken.

"Cogito ergo sum."-Rene` Descartes

When Lazy Goes Wrong

I have fallen from my once exalted status as a great writer. Unknowingly jaded by compliment and cheer, I have lost my way; forsaking all that was gifted to me.
A myriad mind's eye, a plethora perspectives, ineffable imagination, copious cogitations & the separation only in the minutiae all limited by a sterling account of arrogance and a lack of proficiency.

Now everything is informal, even formalities. Nothing goes about the standard by which even the thought of is maverick'd away as the wild feather on a heavy breeze.

I'm better than this and I refuse to allow my descent into production and publication purgatory continue or gain in momentum.

The buck stops here. The conveying of any sentiment stops here. And the necessarry skills will no longer be over looked. As I realize that even though I seek to abolish this system, there are one too many followers, one too many a fool that thinks because I don't that I can't when I simply have fought it for so long that I need to learn how to stop fighting it/ relearn or however one may put it. All things are not equal when you account for personal preference.

Just because you like things one way, doesn't make it right and you arguing that it is right makes you wrong by trait.

Get over yourself. Grow. Reach for the sky and be real because you can't get there with lies. I mean its in the name: disguise. As in, anywhere but up.

What Good is a Sign that Nobody can Read?

When attempting to understand each other there exists a comprehension variance where the person speaking uses words that they feel represents the vision in their thoughts. The listener has a set lexicon that they use to decipher what a speaker may be attempting to convey. These minds serve the direction supplied by the conscious, subconscious and unconscious motivators. There is no denial that we are programmed. What we are programmed by is typically the direction the argument goes in. Why we are programmed is usually a spin-off of the original "what programmed us" conversation. Ultimately, programming is what allows us to become independent of our infancy in life. Unfortunately, the word set we work with at this point is something that may hinder our ability to connect with others. The ego protects itself from everything including itself. This is why we blame others first.

Within the same sense of communication and misinterpretation, when do the assumptions that are often inspired by the arrogance of experience and unintentional exacerbation of something that may have initiated during infancy then festered in quiet by piggy-backing on valid or reasonable aspects of growth become disruptive in a personal sense?
It is said that good intentions pave the road to Hell and it is fine to take that literally. Who said it was alright to limit yourself to literal interpretations of that phrase without applying it to constructs that are easily understood to slightly more abstract complications? Sure, this is an assumption based on the idea that the premise of this thought is founded(walk with me).

However you may feel about what I've written here today, know that you suffer from this to some extent. Nobody is perfect, not even perfect people. Being glamorized and excused doesn't improve your grip on humanity or speech and the delicate transactions that being human involves but to simply assume to know even when you do know, doesn't mean that you cannot be wrong at the same time. If you took anytime at all to pay attention to people, you would notice how in being right a person is also simultaneously wrong too.
We, humans, exist as contradictions. We like to be cool & we like to be warm at the same time. We want to be where it is hot and sunny but go to find the shade to chill out. We want friends but we want to be alone sometimes to deal with the conflicting magnetisms involved with each desire. We want to feel loved but we spend all of our time pushing that special person away. At any one given moment we are all things and no thing at the same moment depending on what we see as significant or having worth. There is no being right without caveat and a specific sex doesn't have a monopoly on that truth.

The only choice you have is to be as great a person as you can muster, let go of your preconceived notions of preference and fly recklessly into the future because mediocrity settles on good enough. How about you make the decision to be as wonderful as you could possibly make yourself and not just at your pace but at the limit of your ability, perception and form. Go beyond, don't worry about the trip back to center because "center" is following your commands. Don't become a victim of circumstance, that is fear based and weak minded and you aren't weak at all, are you? No, I didn't think so. Leg~go!!!

Kerkin' out on E

I have a few stories to tell. Mostly though, any story I tell will ultimately be boring save the detail. I have threatened to kill people before, held off gangs while being vastly outnumbered 13 to one or 26 to two. I have pulled my gun out on people who threatened me and been assaulted with guns randomly. I have been chased by racists knowing full well they intended on taking my life and I have run from the police numerous times when I committed a crime or I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. The only problem is those stories are 99% boring and the detail is so mundane that it comes off as a third rate Hollywood screenplay. All I really have remaining after that is my interactions with women. This is where, perhaps, this little light of mine shines the brightest. I study each interaction ad nauseum to insure that I was the best me I could be.

From where I started to where I am now, a man has grown out of the husk of my immaturity, ignorance and arrogance. I see the World better than the supposed lucidity allowed me to see it. Though, I now use rose colored lenses and my eyes have turned silver from always looking at the silver lining in all things. A clear conscience only means that I didn't get involved and that is no longer permissible. I've got a strong need to bleed for the future, to ache and leak tears for the future be it my progeny or other. What does it matter if my blood line continues? Honestly, I don't think it matters at all but I selfishly desire to have a child born of my seed. I want to look inside of that child's eyes and know that there is nothing that I've done that anyone involved would be ashamed to speak of. This is why I remember my interaction with women so well. This may also be the main reason why the other semi-unbelievable events take a backseat. Those situations are impertinent to my goal in life: Pride.(In every sense I know of the word).

I will start in first grade. I lived in Bamberg, Germany. I remember the people I talked to and what we talked about. I remember my teacher and why I didn't like her at all. She kept giving my belongings to the other students. This is when I had a serious fighting issue but that is another story. There was this little white girl (Jil) that liked me a lot and she asked me to be her boyfriend. I tried to pass her off to my friend Q but he didn't want her. I did not know how to say no, so I said yes. Then I did not know how to break up with her so my memory gets foggy around there. I just know that I didn't really see her after she started claiming me. I got ninja-esque on her; hidden in plain sight.

Then it was second grade. This Puerto Rican girl (Nat) with really hairy forearms but the prettiest face ever. I got all kinds of woozy and shy around her. Though, as we establish familiarity things got easier for me. This went on well into third grade when my family was leaving Germany. And my last day at school I wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend and keep in contact with me throughout the years but I had too much coward in my blood. I missed my chance and vowed to never miss another opportunity again.

My next two schools, there wasn't a single girl that caught my attention for more than 5 seconds. I know, this shows a preset type that attracts my attention and I wasn't but barely 8 years old.

I arrive in Spanaway. I am 11 years old and there are plenty of woman that yank my attention at every corner. I was overwhelmed with potential. I made list out to organize my desire. I like to know what to do in unexpected situations. I had a hierarchy for my heart. Some were added and some were removed. Some moved and were never heard from again. I never made moves. Well, I did grab an advanced breast or two and Oh My how great it felt. We were such cute little kids.

Well, then was time for Junior high and like before my mind is blown by the overwhelming potential of the women roaming the halls. I spent nearly all of 7th grade wishing for a chance with this Guamanian girl (Del) but things went south so rapidly. I wrote tons of poems. I wrote my thoughts and hopes down in a hope to produce a much more appropriate sense of self to convey. 7th grade crashed and burned. Ha. Good times. I had all F's. My mother should have beat me.

8th grade rolled around. The Guamanian girl was slyly hunted around school just so I could see her sometimes, even if I couldn't have her. And sure there were other girls throwing themselves at me. Mostly white girls that for whatever reason saw me as great. There was two blacks girls that I really liked but too young to know what to do. My older brother was already gone and my father was never heard from at that point. My mother was INTIMIDATING. No, let me rephrase that, my mother was my god. As fortune would have it, the women in my life seem to take a front seat and let me know that they would like my attention. Well, this one (Reb) had a friend lead me to the stage area in the cafeteria and put our hands inside each other. I wish I hadn't done what I did. I wish that part of me just accepted everything that happened. Who knows where our lives would be currently. She currently won't accept my friend request on social networking sights, Aha! But I really did like her. Anyways the other black girl (Joa) got involved with a guy I didn't get along with around that same time. I was simply left with my Guamanian girl to stalk. 8th grade sucked too.

9th grade. I finally get an inside opportunity with the Guamanian girl (Del) and the situation improves. This is the third year I've been in full court press type pursuit of her affections. We talked on the phone for hours on end and fell asleep talking sometimes. I wrote more poems, tons of poems. Eventually, she agreed to be my girlfriend. That relationship lasted two days. I broke it off with her. I went to kiss her on the first day, intimidated as all El but was refused- no big deal. The second day, she went in to kiss me but I felt like everything was wrong. So, I backed her off me. I was waiting for this moment for nearly three years and the school year went by rapidly. What could I have been thinking. This is exactly all that I ever wanted. I was sad to lose my constant contact with her but she basically told me that she expected much greater things from my life than hers - I wrote that off as bullshit and slogged along alone.

10th grade. I still have my preference for Asian women but in the first two weeks of school, this Caramel Macchiato (Kat) skinned beauty destroyed my sense of beauty and shoved Black down my gullet so deep I'm still passing her fingernails through my system. 3 more years of silent stalking while trying to move forward. Oh, I tried hard to move on. Oh, I tried hard to forget her and write her off. Oh how none of that ever worked. There were a few white girls that tried to get me drunk in that time, there were plenty of women who showed a genuine interest in me as a person even though I wasn't interested. There is this one red head that stands out in memory, thats funny to me because I used to hide from her. HAhaha! There were others too but I guess it is important to share that I had a weird position in school hierarchy. I struggled in some classes but excelled in others and nobody knew where I stood intellectually. I was of jock popularity status because I had set records at the school but I also hung around the pot heads, rappers, grunge rockers, country boys and Japanese anime nerds. My friends wouldn't even talk to each other then. 10th grade still woman-less.

11th grade: pretty much the same old stuff except with the little sisters of the friends I had made the last year. That was interesting. I'm lucky nobody knew me well enough to want trouble. I was the unknown danger. Which is weird only because I lived so close to the school and I could run like nobody else at the school.

12th grade: a weird duplicate of 11th grade with added esteem and even more weirdness with younger classes. Still not women but tons of interaction.

Junior college was a very big change of pace. I was now driving and working, two things that I had not been responsible prior to this moment in time. First was Pierce college at Fort Steilacoom. Oh, what another situation. Of the notable women in this entry the was the woman who shook my World in 10th grade(Kat), there was no less than one white woman with huge breast (Jen) and there was one extra skinny asian(Jan). I pursued all but the white woman who pursued me relentlessly. I regretted that because the other women wouldn't give me the time of day and the white girls father was a doctor, need I say more? As the story usually goes, I don't change my mind about white women until it is too late to take her up on the offer. SHM.

I transfered junior colleges to be able to run track. I should have known better because I was just adding more to my plate but who is afraid of a little adversity? Highline CC was my second and third year in college. I stayed so that I could finish running track. Again, women take a central focus but only because of the rarity she represented. I was a virgin and she was a virgin too. She claimed me once she heard that. I mean the INSTANT. Again, I really liked her and thought she was the MOST beautiful. She was light skinned black (Nic). However, I was absolutely horrible at capitalizing on the wants and desires that women present me with. I needed to marry the woman of my desires. I needed to know that we would get along in the not so near future. Miss young and V'd up didn't agree with that. Plus I'm weird. By the end of the second year some random unknown chick(also light skinned black{Ale}) got wind of my virginity and decided that she wanted to make me cry from the nature of her intercourse. That brought out a serious cowardice in me. I dodged her until I finally found the nerve and by then it was over. I think back to second grade and kick myself.

A month later I achieve my first actual girlfriend. She was a self-proclaimed half black/half puerto rican(Toc). I'm a newly 21 year old de-virginized. Finally! The first three months were great. Not one argument. After that, it was relationship hell for me. I poured myself into it end on end to no avail. She flew to boot camp for the Air Force 4 days before our first anniversary. Over the course of the next year we went through many a trial and stumbled through it. I was still at HCC and I saw a Puerto Rican (Ter) with waist length hair and I crushed on her hard. She was so quiet and withdrawn. She seemed like she had been abused and mistreated and the arrogant nerd within me just wanted to cater to her needs of protection, unfortunately I was too slow and she got a boyfriend who ended up abusing her and she would show up with bruises and jumpy. If I'm nothing else, I'm consistent when in pursuit. Eventually she had a day where she was willing to go hang out with me- I didn't realize that until I was driving away, hating myself for not thinking fast enough. And that was about it with the Puerto Rican, though, I set up her e-mail account and she kept in contact with me for no less than six years afterwards. I appreciated the sentiment. Well, after that episode and my girlfriend being gone, I simply shifted the focus back to my girlfriend(Toc). I had done nothing more than be a friend, I didn't try to go out on a date or anything but my interest was definitely across the line. Anyways,I had the sneaking suspicion that my girlfriend was stepping out on me. I couldn't tell. I never knew. I don't think I ever got a response I could believe. Things just didn't add up. She visited home before a 30 months long deployment. A few months go by and at this time I'm at Washington State University and I hadn't seen her in months because she joined the Air Force and went to Germany. We talked maybe once a month. There was no issue at all, I was faithful and I felt like a sucka. I kind of didn't give two sh!ts about what she was doing at that point. I guess thats why we communicated so rarely. Until she called me on my birthday and had a weird and unpredictable air about her approach/perspective. It was a huge turn-off like she was looking for an excuse to leave. I remember telling her to not come at me like that, then she asked "do you not want to talk to me anymore?"...I refused to answer that loaded question. She hung up on me never to call back again. Unfortunately, I didn't have an absolute. I sent her a birthday present months later but she never got back to me. No thank you, nothing. For two years I carried insecurity with me until I met a random friend we had in common who found a little too much pleasure in sharing that that girl had gotten married and had children. Wasted my life without being concrete enough for me. Ef what you heard or think but she knew full well how wet behind the ears I was. She did me so dirty. Whatever, I'm over it now. Just wanted a definite, yeah, never expect me to call you again plus I'm cuffing someone else. I couldn't deal with the open-ended-ness of it all. Two years later I finally get over it.

I never had a one night stand in all that time. I was still faithful to the idea that I had a woman that was simply just mad at me and not communicating with me for a while. Two years is a long time to have somebody that you love that you haven't heard from. But I began to put my bid in on the women in my immediate vicinity. Oooh, I love women. But I was so underwhelmed and I did not want another girl of the same quality. I vetted all of them. I could have been thirty or sixty of them, I don't know and I'm not sure and yes, I was still making list about the order I liked them in. I updated the list everyday. Very detailed and I may still have a record or two. Anyways, I whittled the potentials down to maybe four or five women. One was older than I was and by far the most impressive. Something was so off about her though I thought she was perfect. The other was super short and extremely arrogant. I think thats good enough. The third was kind of short but she always smelled like refried beans and yes she was Mexican and proud of it. We didn't work because she got faulty on me real quick. This leads me to my one 1 night stand ever. I went to hang out with my upstairs neighbor but I was late because I took an unexpected nap due my boredom. Anyways, I arrive and decide to sit at a table all my own next to my friend an his entourage. Suddenly, I'm approached by this woman with long curly hair and she looked like the Native American(Kay) version of Mariah Carey and no I didn't drink that night. needless to say, there was nothing special about her, I was just tired of being led by my morality when I seemed to be the only one with any. I had footage of that night but computers are unreliable.

A month after that, I will meet the woman that I'll end up being tied to for the next three years. She too was half Puerto Rican/half Black (Ash), but she really was Peurto Rican(thank you for family trees, mothers and grandmothers). She appeared rough around the edges but like she had endless potential if I could harness it just right. Though, it seemed as if from jump that I should have just left her alone. We argued none stop almost. Okay well thats a lie. We argued often but nothing was very serious. She thought it was okay to keep exes as friends. I don't. Never have. I won that argument eventually. :-)
Through the years with her, I found deep reservoirs of shame and great moments of bliss like when we went on break because we had distance between us and we started seeing other people. That girl I stepped to the side with was just a little black girl(Tas) who had her childhood interrupted with ignorance, selfishness and disrespect. Because of the violation she endured, she didn't have a great compass and made excuses for herself and played me on my empathy for others. Now, I knew from the start that she and I didn't have a future and the more I dealt with her the more I realized it and she could feel it, slipping between her fingers. She grew more and more rude. We had a falling out and I let her know that it wasn't about responding, I don't discipline my toys. Made my way back to my girlfriend who made a similar mistake by stepping out with some brotha who felt like he could give her what I couldn't. Revenge sucks, well receiving it does. Never did I feel rivaled or reciprocated. It was more like a parent and a child arguing over bed times than it was a real relationship. Then I took a job that paid me decently and had me moving around a bit. I ended up in my birthplace of San Diego. Down there I bumped into a black woman (Jes) that was full blown interested in me. She offered to take me on a date, she paid and refused my graciousness, she basically chose me. I didn't care, I wasn't getting too involved and my girlfriend wouldn't visit. I felt like she had other things as priorities than our relationship and that I was just supposed to suffer because of how she felt. Tired of being on the back burner, I stepped out into the Cali sunshine. To be absolutely honest, I don't think I've ever been that low on life. I didn't care about anything or anyone and the right person would have been laid the ef out: toe tags. I cried everyday and the only thing that kept me from crying more than I did was the fact that I had another woman that would comfort me in moments of boredom. She kept telling me how special I was to her. So, I used her as a ballast for my attitude and made it out of Cali based on her contributions. Back into Washington and back into the arms of my girlfriend. She folded on everything, didn't work hard to develop any real opinion and relied too heavily on her belief that she was a "good girl". All of her worth was apparently tied up in her lack of spite and jade. She was not a bad girl but she wasn't realistic with just about anything. That and I will always feel like I was merely a leverage point to be paraded about as some ornament for her nest. I was arm candy. A concept still foreign to me after three years of experiencing it. I tell you, the feeling alone is too much to imagine. You feel like the tire on a car thats been rode for years none stop.She eventually broke up with me for another country.

There are moments that I haven't spoken on but that is as comprehensive an overview as possible at this moment in time.