Stealing Myself Back

As individuals, there are moments that determine how we interact with other individuals. At times, these moments surprise us with a reaction that we did not expect of ourselves. Humans are very complicated creatures and we spend our entire lives attempting to simply get a grasp on how everything we interact with inspires us to feel on the most intimate of levels. Sometimes, it is other people that pull these surprising interactions out of us. Sometimes, they get more of us than we would prefer they did. This is where I am coming from.

You see, once upon a time, a young and slightly quixotic "Sage" decided that the only way to be was kindness. Within this kindness was wrapped an endless forgiveness & understanding. Some of you may be chuckling for the naivete but this childlike state of mind was able to persist unaffected by the jading years of young adulthood. Often, offering love interests far more of self than necessary to achieve their affection. This has always been a painful process for anyone who practiced it. It however is no more painful than any other process, it simply deals with the pain upfront and directly. In an effort to circumvent my former naivete, I decided to steal myself back before it was taken...for granted. This is where you laugh because I made a funny.

That seemed like it worked until one day I awoke to realize just how much of my was carried out in fragments. These fragments were stored like a puzzle in a box until all the pieces were acquired. Then flawlessly this puzzle of me was put back together with 'nary a taste of pause. And now awake, I realize this home is nowhere I am familiar with. I was stolen; I was lost.

I could only aspire to retrieve myself from this foreign landscape. And I crafted stratagems, revising every angle with new tactical advantages, performing reconnaissance whenever necessary. This was an all out war of emotional attrition and every second was treated like a potential last moments. The edge was mere centimeters away like the ground was caving away from the centuries of wear and degradation, chasing my progress in stealing myself back.

Upon feeling the familiarity of an environment, an atmosphere of automatic acclimation a form of relaxation touches down upon the zenith of stress, urging it downward as if usurping gravity in its dominance. Realize that everything has to be replaced into their individual positions. This time, secure them in the light so that they won't be stolen in the darkness. And sleep with one eye open because you will, like I did, hate stealing yourself back.

(Songs that inspired this post: Bits & Pieces by Van Hunt; The Way That I Love You by Ashanti)