Simple Bitches

Miserable wretches. I'm not angry nor disappointed. Though, there has definitely been enough of this bullshit logic floating around supplementing the ignorance that perpetuates the daily issues we acquiesce to seemingly non-fucking-stop. I ain't shit. I ain't never going to be shit. But I will be a PH.d and I will teach at a four year. Eat my sack. Or don't, I think I'll need that for the demon seeded progeny I plan on procreating.

So, whats my kobe beef? This poorly focused ideology that people spread like an contagiously air-borne disease. Real talk. Lets start there at real talk. Whats fake talk? Hypotheticals? What world you live in that communicates primarily using hypothetical situations. Even as a commonly used expression the ideals that support the everything behind even feeling the need to say that shout ignorance of the user.

I'm not even going to transition, I'm just going to jump into my list as they come to me. Fuck if you give a damn for writing style as I'm showing my greatest ignorance at the moment. More to come as I'm not above this list. People who sleep with people they couldn't give a fuck less about. That shit utterly discombobulates me. Thats what the fuck STD's/STI's or any other thing you get from marriage like activities while not having marriage like amorous affinities about the person you engage. This shit is beyond silly. Expletive laden speech aside, you fuckers need to get right. Run around spouting all this God talk but the first mutha fucka to come out with double fuckin digit sexual partners. Oh? Word? Its just that easy to find somebody to fuck? Sure but it doesn't mean that just because you have the ability to do something that you should do it. I'm in single digits, I've turned down more mutha fuckas than I can remember for sillier reasons than I'd like to admit but the more important underlying motive is that I wanted the woman I settled down with to realize that I wasn't out there just giving my penis to any broad, pretty or not, that asked for it. Y'all are fucking up and still asking for respect? Fuck the whole every part of you. I don't feel any need at all to define you but just because I ain't walking around throwing out titles and shit doesn't mean I didn't define how I feel about people that do the things that I don't agree with. Hence, why I keep to my fucking self. I can only hate myself so much because I understand why I did everything I did. You however, I don't know why and my perspective will NEVER line up with yours. We were raised with differing values and experiences...this is the only reason I don't see fit to judge you. But having you even interact with me burns me...because part of me knows that you are trying desperately to relate. I absolutely hate that. Even if I was perfect...well I cannot in good conscience make that sentence. If I were a better person, I doubt the fortitude of my character would withstand an assault of the kind others represent. I'm not Jesus, I will not assort with prostitutes or killers or thieves and maintain my visions and determinations.

You cry foul first fucks. As long as you winning, you don't give a shit about nobody else's pains but when you in pain you think everybody else should care about your shit. Fuck the ever longing shitty ass air you breathe. Victim mentality ass trash. Y'all talking about reading books. White's,Black's and all the other colors of rainbows and shit. Everybody want somebody else to bow to them and their bullshit pains. Always throwing criticism, elevating personal idealisms and yet claiming to be intelligent. Fuck quotation marks. The first people to tell me I'm hard, or stuck up or some other bullshit are the ones who over look how far I actually traveled to hold my hand out and help them. I could have watched people burn and drown but I risked my flesh to travel through trouble and assist them in persisting life. I cannot tell you how many times I've been stabbed in my back by people who's lives I've saved. I cannot tell you how many times I've held my hand out for help and nobody was there to grab that shit.How many miles I've had to walk when people were relaxing and refusing to answer their phones when I desperately needed help. The tears that flowed my cheeks as I felt alone in the world. The despair I've nearly given into. And out of those moments the first thing I do is reach inside my self to find forgiveness and understanding for these other people. They don't do it for me, I don't get caught up on it. I grow. I always try to grow. I have my weaknesses and failures thrown in my face far too commonly for me to feel comfortable but the first thing I am accused of being is negative. I'm black bitch. I cannot even remember if my memories are true any more. I cannot remember if those guns that were in my face and cocked ready to blow were real or not anymore. I can't remember if running for my life and jumping fences were real, anymore. That is, until I look at the scars. And I think I've had a good life; a blessed life. I'm harder on myself for all the bullshit I fall into and forget to avoid while people that can't manage to smile through simple disadvantages judge me without knowing shit about me. What I've sacrificed or worked to get out of myself to overcome. The website shit doesn't bother me so much. It means less. People just puffing up their chest and getting caught up in emotions while acting like they ain't. Thats cool though. I've been called more punks and chumps then I know what to do with. I've been excluded and ostracized for being honest and vulnerable. And still they judge me. While being of the weakest variety and yet they are still winning while I'm losing.
I ain't got shit thats worth having. I'm on the verge of being locked into my slavery. Well, sort of. I've escaped plenty of pitfalls, some due my undeniable perversion in paranoia and others due to the good natures of the some of the same people I now cannot withstand any longer. Its very unsettling being upset with a person while totally and completely grateful to them. It is gut wrenchingly painful. But the same thing makes you smile makes you cry.

I hate feeling like I'm extra. I hate feeling like I'm slow. But people do some amazing things with thoughts and words and just lay things out in amazing ways. I don't know if it is a skill or what because I don't see it being taught anywhere. I've always been gifted with intelligence but there is just something that isn't adding up to zero when I look at it. And nobody has the fuckwits to explain this shit in a way that can be made accessible. I feel like either I'm really bright and people are really on some global level conspiration shit to make me question myself OR I'm really dumb and say some smart shit sometimes and nobody wants to nor has the heart to tell me how fucking stupid I really am. These are arrogant thoughts right? But this shit is simple. The world is run by idiots. What I mean by that last bit is actually a bit deeper than I can simply say. Imagine if you will, what it would take for me to come to a conclusion like those two possibilities and still maintain some sense of sanity. A tremendous amount of coincidence...not meant by the nuance but simply the fact that two things happened at the same time. We don't put mysticisms into the term coinciding but put the -ence on the end and all fuckin logic slides right the fuck on out. Kind of like the term ignorance, which, could still be used in a similar sense to that which it should mean instead of that which it does currently mean. The basterdization of this language is killing me and this shit needs to be refreshed, or something.
So all of that...distracted language was to say there are too many differing ways for me to say how I just don't agree with the shit people do and say and think but the most I can ever do about it is A)complain B)join in C)mind my own D)quit. The thing is, I made my decision a long time ago and this may sound like bullshit or (for those who have been praying for me because of my use of expletives) malarkey but I was fairly conscientious of my responsibilities at a young age. There are plenty of things that I missed but understanding my impact on the World around me wasn't really one of them. Thank you Captain Planet.
I wanted to save everyone. That got twisted and I wanted to destroy everything. Then I saw the common super villain theme was this twisted love. I did not want to be evil. I was afraid of that life. As I grew and resisted the urges, I began to understand that things aren't just white and black. I grew to find that things much more intensely complicated than most people make them out to be. Everything needs to be simplified. Could life be more pointless? Naw, you think working a job is making some sort of contribution to society? I'll be straight up with you, my thoughts on society are summed up with this-"Fuck Society". I've separated myself from this gelatenous group of hideously pretentious import. You all ain't worth shit. That you think, is the only reason you think you are worth shit. This shouldn't be ground breaking. Though, there is one thing that makes it all worth living through. "Everything you will do will never matter, thought it is very important that you do it." I don't remember who the quote comes from but that shit gives me life.
All the bullshit niggas,wiggas,chinks,changs,spics,spans and any other mutha gotto come with could miss me in the most epic of ways but I'll do my best to not allow it to bother me too greatly. Cause I ain't shit and I ain't never gon' be shit...my name is Jerome, nice to meet you. If you read all of that you are either curiously piqued or sincerely have surpassed any reasoning I would know for a person to read an esoteric rant and not really know why the person mad. Why am I mad son? Because people stay on bullshit and want to drag you into it. I'm just trying to make my dream come true so I can improve how people do the things they do. And when I finally get to tell my story, I'm sure it won't bore you too much. But right now...I'm still crawling around the bottom of the barrel soaking up as much sunlight as I can as it filters through the layers of hate and disregard. I'm so ready for this life to reach pleasant. Smiling when people hand you shit is getting old. I just want to be matched...if I always got to work to meet the people in my life then what the fuck am I still living where I'm living for? I could do this well with my enemies.
Losing an opinion is much harder than anything a person could sincerely do. I'm still working on it. And if someone says, "Oh, I got rid of my opinion already." I'll jap slap the poor piss outta em. The fuck you did. bottling and removing are two entirely different....you know what? I will not respond to ignorance not a second longer.

And that's my love for now....