Saturday, January 25, 2014

Reasonable Determination

Everybody is great at something. You can represent yourself in a piss poor manner, smoke heavily, drink heavily, curse heavily and out perform based on little more than bending corners of the truth back in your favor all while pretending what you say is the truth. The worst part is that you believe it.

Perhaps, it is the moribund of ethics to stick with a simple perspective. Or perhaps it is the willingness to be wrong while believing you are right. Not that I have an issue with either. At this point, I'd start auctioning off errant & wayward family members for a profit. Why give a fuck?

Here, the other people in my office hardly ever tell the truth. Training is typically a detriment full of the wrong information and misdirection is abound. We are told to stick to simple metrics and the results will present themselves. I am the cautionary tale of why that isn't true. I've had much better results in doing what they've told me not to do rather than doing what they tell me to do. Unfortunately for me, I've committed to doing what they tell me to do. Peanuts.

Now, I'm not really complaining about the job I have. At least I have a job to fail at. I am the one failing. I am the one one the verge of losing one big account after another and never actually reaching the big pay day because I believed my upper management had their shit together...or rather, would inform me that shit wasn't together...or whatever. I figured I wouldn't need to be the boss in my first few weeks. I should have done more research. I should have turned down the position. I should have slept more and made sounder decisions. SHOULD HAVE, WOULD HAVE, COULD HAVE. I started at the bottom and I'm still here.

I have one spark of life. This woman owns a destination pizzeria. Her business is in the death roll and nobody will help her straighten it out. I understand loans are risky and everything is looking bad but her history would suggest that she could handle the loan and straighten herself within a year. I am her final thread of sanity. I have done everything I know to do, have been shown to do, have been told I could do for this woman. I doubt I can continue with this job if I failed her in my efforts. At one point, it is what told me I could do this job. It is the point where I became to believe that we weren't bad people or just salesman with a glint of greed in our eyes. I began to believe in our purpose. I COULD SEE IT REALIZED.

Now, here I am, on the precipice of disappointment, exhausting every single option in the final seconds of the last game with nowhere to turn and I have no Mj...I have no Kobe....there is nobody else to take this shot but me. I am it. The others, lost in personal seas of struggle have no sight on the release and it rests at my finger tips. I take a moment, size up the differences, tense my response and release...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Titles Matter

When I looked at my job as a salesman, I hated the idea of being a shitty, unctuous, over pushy & far too highly motivated moron with a goal. In a highly saturated market of mental deficiency, I stand out as a detailed oriented, research capable, quick spit of information. I am the quality. But of course I'd think and say that. A salesman's job is never done. I need to sell myself to you or you'll dismiss my story and the reason I'm typing it up. Salesmen suck. Point blank period. They don't care about your life, what you're going through, what you want or anything but making that bottom dollar. Cause they have lives too. But there is another side to my sales position. The other side is maintaining a positive working rapport with the companies you sign.
I am also an account manager. I'm in banking. Not the "we store your cash at a static location and insure it digitally with the idea of security" type of banking BUT the elbows, wrist, shoulders, ankles hips and knees of that system. We are the, "get your money from point A to point B without worrying about being robbed or plotted on" type of banking. The only real money we see, is our own. And that's if we're savvy enough to make it.
All the same, changing the way I looked at the job, drastically altered my results. I'm happier to go to work, more excited about the little successes and far more enthusiastic about sharing what I do with women I'm interested in.
That it is only commission doesn't even slightly bother me...considering how deeply I believe in myself, a support system didn't help me get started. I borrow my little brother's car. That's about it.
My truck would eat up twice the gas on half the mileage. It wasn't a wise decision to purchase that truck. My fault.
So, from here on out, when I want to talk intimately with a woman, I'll tell her just why I think titles matter so much. Define that relationship.