I'm weary. It isn't from a work schedule cause I'm bumming it. It isn't from a hectic home keeping schedule cause I ain't really shit right now. I'm in a very weird place and I'm not even talking with the best friends. The oldest friends. The wisest friends. Just dolo. Technically, I don't have a best friend. Never did. Just not that kind of person. I never really fit in. People say I'm weird. I've actively tried to fit in. Shit just don't work. And every so often, I'm reminded just how far out of the flock I reside. The shit is like innumerable insects eroding your existence bite by bite. Eventually, it just comes to a point where respite is required.
Whatever I was formerly, I am no longer. I keep clinging to my victories from yesteryear as if I can claim the current me shared those convictions. The leopard changed his spots. Could be lost the old spots. Could be forgot to grow new spots. Could just simply be lost. The most I've ever owned and the most lost I've ever felt. Heartless. I don't have the passion of possession nor the pain of loss. Can't even claim to be numb. It's all just sort of devoid of strong feelings. Almost no feeling. Life has no spice. This puppy is super smart. She learns commands fairly easily and comprehends the intent of communicated words. She is stubborn. She is determined. She is not very patient. She likes to pick on dogs smaller than herself. She is now four and a half months old. She is 60 pounds heavy. Puppy is overly communicative. Translation(-euphemism): she is constantly whining.
With that drain of watching over this pet while trying to recover a sociable mentality, just put a strain on the give a fuck part of me.Oddly, I give less of a fuck. I need to get people out of my life. They make stupid decisions that lead them to unhappiness and are somehow dragging me down with them. I'm tossing my hands in the air pretty soon. Stress, anxiety, peer pressure & a litany of other things are weighing heavy on the psyche. How did I let myself get to this point where at 30, I am dependent on another for my daily bread? This shit is tough. I was more independent at 19. I was more independent at 23. I was more independent at 27. The last year and a half, my world has been slowly rolling downhill.
There was a woman who came in and ruined my happiness. It wasn't a perfect happiness. There was a lot of frustration and the woman pretended to have the answers. Before I knew it, I was working to make something perfect again. Like an addiction. Where that first hit is the best high you've ever had and you chase it every time after that. It was never like the first time. Shit. The first time wasn't like the first time I remember. The lower I fell, the worse I feel about myself. The worse I feel about myself, the more I fight it; the more I throw myself into online life. Which is weird because sitting still all day isn't me. But I didn't seek out alternatives. The options died with the desire for options.
It's not like I'm blaming her for being herself. Carmen(<---fake name in homage to the opera) was chasing happiness. I made my decisions. Those decisions worked out to be horrible gambles. I lost that bet. It could have been the best thing that ever happened to me. My head is still confused, trying to determine whether I wanted to be there because I wanted her or if it was because I just convicted myself to my decisions. I don't know anymore. I gave up virtually everything that anchored to who I was. If life is an ocean, all of that shit floated away. It's gone and I can't get it back. And I don't want it back. I just want to keep moving forward and I felt like I was moving forward but this is akin to being lost in a dense forest. A forest where you can't see the sky and there is no discernible landmark to denote progress. Just pushing in one direction in the hopes that you remain straight. Pushing oblivious of the landscape. I keep the journey forward but the longer I am, the wearier I become and the less fucks I have to give.
Shit! I realized a dream. I had high hopes for that dream but as the days go by, I doubt more and more whether I have what it takes to realize this meager little dream while trying to support myself. And I look at my sometimesy support system. I think about how conflicted they all are. I begin to feel like I'm a unicorn chasing dragons chasing angels chasing god chasing creation with a wine made from the tears of celestial water nymphs. I had an important muse. I had several everyday muses. I've had inspirations and camaraderie. But ultimately, I feel like a seed of cataclysm and chaos. And then I'm not really like you all and I don't know why. It doesn't make sense. We wake up hungry and thirsty so we eat and drink. We wash when dirty. We like to smell good and look good. We read to get smart and we need shit explained to us when we don't know any better. We laugh at jokes or cry at tragedy & pain. We win and lose. We feel high and low. Yet, I open my mouth and people can't run away and shut it out fast enough.
So, I learned people. I studied people in school to understand what made them tick. To see if I was irrational with my beliefs. I grew arrogant. Then I began to build a people based business and I learned people better. I grew ever more arrogant. I know shit. But I don't know shit. I mean, I loved deductive reasoning my entire life. Sherlock Holmes was a goal to aspire to. But here...let me make more sense. I haven't been very good at lying. I say it. I believe it. I suppose that's part of it. Whatever. I'm sick of talking about this for now. And I'm still weary. I feel like I can't breathe. Nothing outside of hitting the lotto will cheer me up. Money is a major issue. Fuck pit bulls.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
How to see it
It isn't just what is written. Take into account what words wake while others forge. Placement is the substitute for timing. Timing is everything.
In my efforts, there is a sense of the brevity that constantly inhabits my thoughts. The temporal shift in existence being expended on the toils of composition. A spontaneous bout of verbosity followed by quaint moments of eloquence. Interspersed with barely coherent ramblings of emotion and explanation. To think it was unintentional would be unbelievably foolish. Nothing just happens. Everything happens for a reason. Duh. Not like the "it was written" type reason but the scientific "every action has an equal yet opposite reaction" type of reason.
There is no place in our consciousness; our psyche; our existence that does not afford explanation. Either we haven't found the reason or we've ignored it. Mysticism is so very strong in the thinking creature. Creating nonexistent conflicts out of potential. Fighting wars based on imagination. Claiming unreasonable tenants of expression rather than compromising the unbridled energies of the uneducated brutes. What curiosity is there that war rules the world with an icy cold glare of aggression? What mystery is it to fear?
These things have been explained for centuries yet we struggle to get people to accept the simple truth of existence: whether a god favors you are not, you have simply come into existing and just as easily you can be removed at any time. People don't die of their heathen beliefs. In fact, it is rare for a person to die of a belief. People die because of actions. Actions which, coincidentally turn into facts. Those very simple facts become stored in our brains and shape our realities. How we perceive that reality is the perception. Which in turn can be communicated via language and perpetuate some very silly beliefs which, of course, may never have actually had any reason to be believed in the very first place. And it still can shape every little thing you do. Even how you type your thoughts out on an empty blog page.
Keep thinking somebody will fail to read you through the internet or any other medium. Think that with just five seconds after meeting you that somebody has the incorrect impression. You are taking for granted the endless list of specialties in this world of belief. But as you will learn, the old sayings did not become popular for lack of attribution. The proof is in the pudding. 50% of jest is truth. Beware of the man...etc. I'm sure you can follow the applicable nature of these thoughts. You won't say something you aren't thinking about. More accurately, you cannot speak a thought that has never crossed your mind. Dishonesty is interested and people buy magic beans all day every day. They purchase these beans in the hopes that a miracle becomes of their faith. You already know this even if you haven't thought about this. Same concept of planting a seed.
The simplest truths will lead you to where you want to be. There should be zeniths & nadirs. Anyhow, I've been reading much more lately. More books and less blogs. But the consistent theme is how humanity assists itself in the form of familiar strangers. In one book, it is regarded that the "entire universe conspires to help you achieve your dreams" while in other places it is written as "those who help themselves are the easiest to help". No matter which way it is written, the central theme behind my writhing diction is that some ways to help yourself are completely apparent. That is what most people see. Another way to help yourself is to remove boundary from concept and allow that construct to flourish without arrogant contention. Don't put an infinitely imperceptible world in a box. The secrets of time have seen it and have somehow failed to see fit to cage it all inside of one perspective.
That last line is more of a note to myself than it is to any who may read. Yet, my best thinking happens when I have a purpose to think. For what you will, you are welcome.
In my efforts, there is a sense of the brevity that constantly inhabits my thoughts. The temporal shift in existence being expended on the toils of composition. A spontaneous bout of verbosity followed by quaint moments of eloquence. Interspersed with barely coherent ramblings of emotion and explanation. To think it was unintentional would be unbelievably foolish. Nothing just happens. Everything happens for a reason. Duh. Not like the "it was written" type reason but the scientific "every action has an equal yet opposite reaction" type of reason.
There is no place in our consciousness; our psyche; our existence that does not afford explanation. Either we haven't found the reason or we've ignored it. Mysticism is so very strong in the thinking creature. Creating nonexistent conflicts out of potential. Fighting wars based on imagination. Claiming unreasonable tenants of expression rather than compromising the unbridled energies of the uneducated brutes. What curiosity is there that war rules the world with an icy cold glare of aggression? What mystery is it to fear?
These things have been explained for centuries yet we struggle to get people to accept the simple truth of existence: whether a god favors you are not, you have simply come into existing and just as easily you can be removed at any time. People don't die of their heathen beliefs. In fact, it is rare for a person to die of a belief. People die because of actions. Actions which, coincidentally turn into facts. Those very simple facts become stored in our brains and shape our realities. How we perceive that reality is the perception. Which in turn can be communicated via language and perpetuate some very silly beliefs which, of course, may never have actually had any reason to be believed in the very first place. And it still can shape every little thing you do. Even how you type your thoughts out on an empty blog page.
Keep thinking somebody will fail to read you through the internet or any other medium. Think that with just five seconds after meeting you that somebody has the incorrect impression. You are taking for granted the endless list of specialties in this world of belief. But as you will learn, the old sayings did not become popular for lack of attribution. The proof is in the pudding. 50% of jest is truth. Beware of the man...etc. I'm sure you can follow the applicable nature of these thoughts. You won't say something you aren't thinking about. More accurately, you cannot speak a thought that has never crossed your mind. Dishonesty is interested and people buy magic beans all day every day. They purchase these beans in the hopes that a miracle becomes of their faith. You already know this even if you haven't thought about this. Same concept of planting a seed.
The simplest truths will lead you to where you want to be. There should be zeniths & nadirs. Anyhow, I've been reading much more lately. More books and less blogs. But the consistent theme is how humanity assists itself in the form of familiar strangers. In one book, it is regarded that the "entire universe conspires to help you achieve your dreams" while in other places it is written as "those who help themselves are the easiest to help". No matter which way it is written, the central theme behind my writhing diction is that some ways to help yourself are completely apparent. That is what most people see. Another way to help yourself is to remove boundary from concept and allow that construct to flourish without arrogant contention. Don't put an infinitely imperceptible world in a box. The secrets of time have seen it and have somehow failed to see fit to cage it all inside of one perspective.
That last line is more of a note to myself than it is to any who may read. Yet, my best thinking happens when I have a purpose to think. For what you will, you are welcome.
Friday, March 15, 2013
I definitely be on some shit.
Recently, I eased up on my restrictive regard of curse words. I actively attempted to avoided them before. Minor conflict. In one way, you look a bit more raw and unrefined when you use the words. On the other hand, you appear more believable and honest. Something about composure intimidates people. I've attempted to adjust to find a universal balance. I don't do the things that would be required to maintain such a balance. My life is full of chaos so much so that the only things that really interrupt my sense of peace are women and heartache. Violence? Water off a ducks back. It's like a fire burning a log. Assess and estimate the course of action; take that action and go on about your day. I'm not desensitized to violence, it simply isn't note worthy to me. I think that sounds weird. I'm "think-speak writing". I'm not the type to be bothered by thoughts, if I were, I'd be long since lost control. Instead, I accepted thoughts as a manifestation of latent desire and limitation. A mental confinement of sorts. Some people cannot deal with the crazy. I harnessed it. I put a leash on it and walked it around a 'park' in my head. The crazy is my bitch but some times it tries to escape. I think we all deal with that. When emotions flare. When the situation is unreasonable in every way and people persists despite being informed the utter futility of the direction of their actions. I need to cut all these extra words out without editing the piece. How about this take on it? In life, we are constantly attempting to maintain a balance of output, input, neutral & .....nah, I need better terms. How about responsibility? Either way, the words I'm looking for describe the need to feel purposefully connected to the rest of humanity; the need to feel allowed to disconnect from the worst portions of humanity and the ability to not think about either while enjoying something that is a product of everything you are trying to ignore. The ideas get muddled and the words mean a little different across the regions of these here States. All I'm saying is, instead of resisting and denying anything that comes out of my existence, I turn to accepting any and every conflict that my consciousness invokes. I refuse to fight myself. I still do at times. But these are mild and accumulative. So, the side that should win eventually will. I'm sure most are much like this. I see that crime and criminals are a marginal problem that is not necessarily proportional to the population. It still feels that way. Fear & ignorance are virtually the same thing from how I see it BUT also the most prevalent techniques utilized for interacting with the world. Avarice plays into that well. And our world becomes like it is even after you eradicate all of the current fear and ignorance. It is never ending. The constant co-signing of ignorance is a huge problem. People sharing fears is an endemic problem of Capitalism because it's easier to give that free fix away in order to establish a customer base. Damn. I'm just saying, the system is cold fusion. Cowardice is a self sustaining industry that creates these mental schisms of divergent thought and ultimately fractures individuals who aren't necessarily caught by the initial wave of schizoid frenzy.
We need Sociopaths for this society to press further. True. We need people who look for the bottom dollar instead of just being considerate and tolerant. Even with that, we need less of them than we currently have. Because now, I don't wanna use curse words because I have a tendency to come off as scary. It is all very humorous if you have that sort of sense. But whether an individual is crazy or not basically has nothing to do with the thoughts they have but the thoughts they allow to effect them. I have some crazy assed thoughts and this tirade is evidence of that. But I'm far from crazy. I've done a lot of reckless things. I'm not afraid. I'm simply aware of the consequences and not anxious to incur them. Exploratory than a mug.
We need Sociopaths for this society to press further. True. We need people who look for the bottom dollar instead of just being considerate and tolerant. Even with that, we need less of them than we currently have. Because now, I don't wanna use curse words because I have a tendency to come off as scary. It is all very humorous if you have that sort of sense. But whether an individual is crazy or not basically has nothing to do with the thoughts they have but the thoughts they allow to effect them. I have some crazy assed thoughts and this tirade is evidence of that. But I'm far from crazy. I've done a lot of reckless things. I'm not afraid. I'm simply aware of the consequences and not anxious to incur them. Exploratory than a mug.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Light and Love....oh, and paranoia
Considering that we are manually uploaded with these languages with the prime directive being to communicate, it is not even a big curiosity that we fail to question many of the phrases and paradigms that are so commonly utilized. I do not have the linguistic chops to go through the steps of digestion in etymology of these constructs(not that it is at all too difficult).
There are a few everyday sayings that, if given a proper context, could be connected in a way that sheds light on unspoken and unseen elements. Hiding in plain sight invariably. We take this for granted. We are aware of that there are actual things as clandestine groups because the myths do not simply arise from imagination. They arise from the attempts. They arise from sloppiness & rebellion. But we know that the best way to hide anything is to house it in an absurd condition. This way, the bridge to a logical land is deniable. Where there is no certainty, there is life.
I will take a big jump here: the Illuminati Yeah, I took it there. As of the 2000's, there has been no release from the accusations or beliefs that their presence was behind some public catastrophe. The re-emergence of these tenuously connected groups that certainly exist yet are shrouded in secrecy has not helped assuage public skepticism. I have resisted the words for the longest time. I watched too many Zeitgeist movies. I watched too many things that have since come to light and been shown to be very accurate even if hair-brained. It is an intimidating prospect to realize the reach & grasp of a secret organization. It is a debilitating concept to think that anybody could affect our colloquial speech patterns. Given we have regional differences & there is so much discord from one area to the next, to perpetuate these manipulations all one would need to do is to implant the ideas in our media. What goes in the brain, comes out the brain. This is a simple truth of life as a human. And we do not need to directly receive the media to be affected by it. It is mind boggling.
I am seeing phrases and idioms being utilized in a sort of cascading effect. I hear it from the smartest people first and so on down the line until the densest of those among us are caught parroting these familiar lines. They use them as if they understood them. They use them as if they are sharing love and in some twisted way, they are. Even as the blinded little sheep they have become.
The idea is disgusting to me; that I am actually beginning to buy into a conspiracy theory or at the very least, the premise of accepting one. I am not one who lives based on faith. I critically analyze every scene I can. I do my best utilization of the tools I have been granted within the reaches of my desires. However, it has come to a point and I have a wide enough array of opinions to see quite a few trends. It is depressing but who can stand being depressed? My goal is to remain informed and yet somehow remain happy. Mutually exclusive ideals - sorta.
Not making up connections where there are none. There is no point to show people. The people see the connections they want to see. It is called inattentive blindness. Motorcycles get crashed into because other people are not prepared to see them. Boats have not been seen on the distance because the idea of them was so foreign that they were simply not acknowledged. Socially, these things all fall within the scope of comprehension. People are not prepared to see conspiracies because so many are a waste of time. Inattentive blindness makes sense in this application and in the action of hiding things in plain sight. I argued at this PhD because she was proliferating the idea of conspiracy and I told her to simplify her views. And yet, I am the one to come around. There was too much truth in her uncanny words. What can be said?
So to my point; to the purpose of this post: the phrases are ways of shifting society subtly. These things are fed to us via scripts that have cemented suggestions. The commercials that have requirements for desire. These things are not entirely left up to the chance of creativity. Some of these things are designed to go the way they do. I have seen it. I have been a part of some of these proceedings and that I am only now putting together the pieces...well...I am dense and human. I have troubles. I had troubles. I have come to accept life as it is. I have come to love every moment. I have embraced my darkness & my light. Emptiness. Fullness. Everything. Now, time has hiatus. Stillness is required. Reasons. It is not that I am unaware of how hackneyed all of this rings. Blah. I do know that I sound out of touch. I am. I have nothing external that makes me desire to buy in to this society. This world. Why anchor myself to soured land? My limitations are my languages. I would be happy with enough food and a patch of land. Those days were long gone before I even hit the ground. The world is now run on the idea of imagination. The purpose or worth of things has been bloated with inflation to staggering heights. People will pay you what you charge. They will, especially when they cannot do what you can do. The highest card wins and the degrees are the playing cards. Invest in that paper card to play. It is not absolute but at times, it is infallible; invincible. It is the accord with which people engage you. It is your designation as long as you play within the boundaries. And you have yet to question whether there is a queen ant? Nah. There is one.
Thinking about it, I actually should have titled this 'Paranoia: light and love'.
My next blog is "how to sound crazy as a loon and get people to think you aren't wrapped too tight". I see now that words don't cut it. I guess I really don't know nothing.
There are a few everyday sayings that, if given a proper context, could be connected in a way that sheds light on unspoken and unseen elements. Hiding in plain sight invariably. We take this for granted. We are aware of that there are actual things as clandestine groups because the myths do not simply arise from imagination. They arise from the attempts. They arise from sloppiness & rebellion. But we know that the best way to hide anything is to house it in an absurd condition. This way, the bridge to a logical land is deniable. Where there is no certainty, there is life.
I will take a big jump here: the Illuminati Yeah, I took it there. As of the 2000's, there has been no release from the accusations or beliefs that their presence was behind some public catastrophe. The re-emergence of these tenuously connected groups that certainly exist yet are shrouded in secrecy has not helped assuage public skepticism. I have resisted the words for the longest time. I watched too many Zeitgeist movies. I watched too many things that have since come to light and been shown to be very accurate even if hair-brained. It is an intimidating prospect to realize the reach & grasp of a secret organization. It is a debilitating concept to think that anybody could affect our colloquial speech patterns. Given we have regional differences & there is so much discord from one area to the next, to perpetuate these manipulations all one would need to do is to implant the ideas in our media. What goes in the brain, comes out the brain. This is a simple truth of life as a human. And we do not need to directly receive the media to be affected by it. It is mind boggling.
I am seeing phrases and idioms being utilized in a sort of cascading effect. I hear it from the smartest people first and so on down the line until the densest of those among us are caught parroting these familiar lines. They use them as if they understood them. They use them as if they are sharing love and in some twisted way, they are. Even as the blinded little sheep they have become.
The idea is disgusting to me; that I am actually beginning to buy into a conspiracy theory or at the very least, the premise of accepting one. I am not one who lives based on faith. I critically analyze every scene I can. I do my best utilization of the tools I have been granted within the reaches of my desires. However, it has come to a point and I have a wide enough array of opinions to see quite a few trends. It is depressing but who can stand being depressed? My goal is to remain informed and yet somehow remain happy. Mutually exclusive ideals - sorta.
Not making up connections where there are none. There is no point to show people. The people see the connections they want to see. It is called inattentive blindness. Motorcycles get crashed into because other people are not prepared to see them. Boats have not been seen on the distance because the idea of them was so foreign that they were simply not acknowledged. Socially, these things all fall within the scope of comprehension. People are not prepared to see conspiracies because so many are a waste of time. Inattentive blindness makes sense in this application and in the action of hiding things in plain sight. I argued at this PhD because she was proliferating the idea of conspiracy and I told her to simplify her views. And yet, I am the one to come around. There was too much truth in her uncanny words. What can be said?
So to my point; to the purpose of this post: the phrases are ways of shifting society subtly. These things are fed to us via scripts that have cemented suggestions. The commercials that have requirements for desire. These things are not entirely left up to the chance of creativity. Some of these things are designed to go the way they do. I have seen it. I have been a part of some of these proceedings and that I am only now putting together the pieces...well...I am dense and human. I have troubles. I had troubles. I have come to accept life as it is. I have come to love every moment. I have embraced my darkness & my light. Emptiness. Fullness. Everything. Now, time has hiatus. Stillness is required. Reasons. It is not that I am unaware of how hackneyed all of this rings. Blah. I do know that I sound out of touch. I am. I have nothing external that makes me desire to buy in to this society. This world. Why anchor myself to soured land? My limitations are my languages. I would be happy with enough food and a patch of land. Those days were long gone before I even hit the ground. The world is now run on the idea of imagination. The purpose or worth of things has been bloated with inflation to staggering heights. People will pay you what you charge. They will, especially when they cannot do what you can do. The highest card wins and the degrees are the playing cards. Invest in that paper card to play. It is not absolute but at times, it is infallible; invincible. It is the accord with which people engage you. It is your designation as long as you play within the boundaries. And you have yet to question whether there is a queen ant? Nah. There is one.
Thinking about it, I actually should have titled this 'Paranoia: light and love'.
My next blog is "how to sound crazy as a loon and get people to think you aren't wrapped too tight". I see now that words don't cut it. I guess I really don't know nothing.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Slut Shambles
Hi. My name is Sagey Bear and I think I may be a slut shamer. I don't like promiscuous people. In fact, I have a great disregard for promiscuous people. I hope you've noticed that I'm saying people and not women. I hope you also notice that I'm straight; not bi- or gay. These are important facts to establish "why" what is important to me, is important to me. As in I'm not, even remotely, interested in what men do with their genitalia. I'm not checking for them. However, women are within the reigns of my primary directive. I want to know who fits into my plans...potentially.
Of course there will be women who are immediately turned off by the idea that I have preferences - go figure. Don't they have preferences? If they don't they should and that's a tremendous red flag if they do not. There are very many ways with which to take up a perspective and view the pros, cons & nuanced differences behind each reasoning on as to what is important. To understand that, you've got to understand the person behind the preferences. Any reasonable person is only going to desire a partner that has similar or comparable practices & traits. Let's not forget how very important sex is in general. People sometimes die behind sex; live their lives in the pursuit of sex; commit crimes to achieve sex. There is no surprise when people over indulge or recklessly engage with many different partners. We aren't plants. That sort of cross pollination is mentally unsanitary to the sentient being. We have this thing called "Psychological Health". Well adjusted & well geared individuals aren't just linking up with others for the sake of a momentary high. There is a moral; an ethic; an integrity; a standard...a foundation for consistency of commitment to an ideal other than whatever strikes at the moment. Being free and loose with it inspires insecurity. If it does not, then the person not shaken by the past is setting themselves up for failure. What institutions don't look into the past of their potential partners? Isn't it silly to let a business hold a higher standard for interactions than a personal interactions? Isn't it silly that minimum wage jobs have higher duty at a requirement for consistency than a woman would expect me to have regarding her past? Oh, you don't like the comparison? Tough luck. I'd rather not deal with the emotional issues that accompany sharing your body with hordes of individuals. Because I don't deal with those issues, personally.
I have the same requirements for myself that I aim to hold against a potential partner. It certainly isn't a one way street. I want someone with similar experience, someone I don't need to explain why I see what I see a certain way. It's really the simplest approach possible. Regardless of how gracefully forgiving; how amazingly humble; how absolutely loving, the disparity between experience will affect perceptions and contort the dynamics. There is no avoiding that. One person either eats what they bring to the table and work on a level lower than they are at or they suffer the other person while attempting to coax them to a higher level. Being on two separate levels of experience is a fractioning & discordant relational status.
We all see people who don't know who they are with. We see people who lose themselves in superficial emotions & desires. Probably more with women than men. But nobody is being blamed for seriously trying. Sow your wild oats. But do me a favor, don't look my way. Go find somebody who sowed his wild oats. It is patently ignorant to say have sex with anybody you want and expect people who were reserved, studious and devoted to an accord of self-restrain to desire you. That doesn't even make sense. But this is where I break. Everybody should be able to find love and I think they can, if only they open their eyes. And being a slut is no different than being anything, really. Of course there are some things in this world that we cannot control. So, when it boils down to it, I'm not so much as saying sluts are bad people - I don't believe there is a such thing as bad people. I don't think there is a such thing as good people. I don't agree with the law of man. I don't even think I agree with the law of God. I've been disqualified by women for that lack of agreement. But I am correct. Where the laws say it is fine to judge some but not others - wrong. Where law says that there is only this or that - wrong. I did not get self-righteous and say the person was "Agreement shaming" me. I mocked them, yes. I disagreed and talked my shit, yes. But I didn't make myself a victim. I'm not saying "slut shaming" victims are reaching. I'm sure some are. The ones I've encountered, are.
If you decide to read between the lines, make assumptions and conclude how others think because they go against your thought directions, then your pain is all your own. Your perception shaping your reality, making you think you are being persecuted. Of course there are bigots. I'm not one. I can have my opinion as you can have yours. I don't feel the need to designate titles for other people. I do, however, feel free to describe the actions. If those two different things are the same in your eyes, then I cannot even entertain a conversation with you. Such rash equivocations are silly in my view. No malice. No desire to interact. Titles for people =/= describing an action. I don't care who you sleep with. I don't care how many people you sleep with. If I'm trying to be with you, it is important to me. You think I'm petty, childish, immature, silly, archaic? Fine. Feel how you feel. I'll warn you that such is heavily bordering on hypocrisy. "I can have an opinion about who is engaged in sex but you cannot have an opinion about how many people I engage in sex"? Lol...same shit. Opinions don't match. Fundamental differences in perspective lead toward incompatibility. It doesn't stop there. Move on. Grow up. You wanted to be you, right? Then why be mad that somebody else wants to be who they are? Everything is muted from that point forward.
Slut shaming is baseless beyond purposeless persecution. You aren't interested in her? Then look away. Stay concerned on your own plate. Nosy folk piss me off. Mind your business. Let them live. Just don't come to me with triple my body count and think I'm gonna be alright with that. What else are you bringing to the table that levels shit out. You get to bring more baggage, but everything else equal? There will be tremendous fighting and I don't want to do that with someone who didn't have faith that I existed. It means something to me. If it doesn't mean something to you, then you've already assaulted my ego three times with one instance. One for how my desire; one for making me feel more common for having shared you with more people and one for taking everything I am and saying it isn't significant to you. Why would you want to hurt somebody like that? You may not care about frogs and lily ponds but the frog cares.
Slut shaming is just another way to say, I want an opinion of how you live your life. I don't. Fuck 99% of the world if you want. Just don't come to me, lying, hiding or refusing to elucidate on your past. Those are grounds for dismissal and signs of incompatibility. Why would you want that? It isn't about slut shaming. It is about remaining accountable to the choices you've made in your life. There are men in every walk of life that you could match with. As you are, there is no guarantee that anybody can match with you. Always move towards growth. If you don't want to do that, then recognize that that is a personal choice. And fuck off with playing the victim. beautiful women have passed on me often. I have passed on beautiful women. shit happens. I don't really care. I did when it happened but I look back and gloat gratefully that I was allowed to proceed unencumbered. My growth is the most important thing to me. Women have come to me; pledged to me their entire being; begged to have my children, to be my wife and left me alone all within the same week. Not just one woman either. I say that to say, be grateful when someone would rather diminish you than nurture you. There are too many people on this planet. You aren't required to stay where you are...and if you are, then you're to blame. Get up and move. Tis a big planet. It's only a small world when your world is small. Your world is small only when your mind is small. Your mind is small when you know everything. Seek to not know everything.
Of course there will be women who are immediately turned off by the idea that I have preferences - go figure. Don't they have preferences? If they don't they should and that's a tremendous red flag if they do not. There are very many ways with which to take up a perspective and view the pros, cons & nuanced differences behind each reasoning on as to what is important. To understand that, you've got to understand the person behind the preferences. Any reasonable person is only going to desire a partner that has similar or comparable practices & traits. Let's not forget how very important sex is in general. People sometimes die behind sex; live their lives in the pursuit of sex; commit crimes to achieve sex. There is no surprise when people over indulge or recklessly engage with many different partners. We aren't plants. That sort of cross pollination is mentally unsanitary to the sentient being. We have this thing called "Psychological Health". Well adjusted & well geared individuals aren't just linking up with others for the sake of a momentary high. There is a moral; an ethic; an integrity; a standard...a foundation for consistency of commitment to an ideal other than whatever strikes at the moment. Being free and loose with it inspires insecurity. If it does not, then the person not shaken by the past is setting themselves up for failure. What institutions don't look into the past of their potential partners? Isn't it silly to let a business hold a higher standard for interactions than a personal interactions? Isn't it silly that minimum wage jobs have higher duty at a requirement for consistency than a woman would expect me to have regarding her past? Oh, you don't like the comparison? Tough luck. I'd rather not deal with the emotional issues that accompany sharing your body with hordes of individuals. Because I don't deal with those issues, personally.
I have the same requirements for myself that I aim to hold against a potential partner. It certainly isn't a one way street. I want someone with similar experience, someone I don't need to explain why I see what I see a certain way. It's really the simplest approach possible. Regardless of how gracefully forgiving; how amazingly humble; how absolutely loving, the disparity between experience will affect perceptions and contort the dynamics. There is no avoiding that. One person either eats what they bring to the table and work on a level lower than they are at or they suffer the other person while attempting to coax them to a higher level. Being on two separate levels of experience is a fractioning & discordant relational status.
We all see people who don't know who they are with. We see people who lose themselves in superficial emotions & desires. Probably more with women than men. But nobody is being blamed for seriously trying. Sow your wild oats. But do me a favor, don't look my way. Go find somebody who sowed his wild oats. It is patently ignorant to say have sex with anybody you want and expect people who were reserved, studious and devoted to an accord of self-restrain to desire you. That doesn't even make sense. But this is where I break. Everybody should be able to find love and I think they can, if only they open their eyes. And being a slut is no different than being anything, really. Of course there are some things in this world that we cannot control. So, when it boils down to it, I'm not so much as saying sluts are bad people - I don't believe there is a such thing as bad people. I don't think there is a such thing as good people. I don't agree with the law of man. I don't even think I agree with the law of God. I've been disqualified by women for that lack of agreement. But I am correct. Where the laws say it is fine to judge some but not others - wrong. Where law says that there is only this or that - wrong. I did not get self-righteous and say the person was "Agreement shaming" me. I mocked them, yes. I disagreed and talked my shit, yes. But I didn't make myself a victim. I'm not saying "slut shaming" victims are reaching. I'm sure some are. The ones I've encountered, are.
If you decide to read between the lines, make assumptions and conclude how others think because they go against your thought directions, then your pain is all your own. Your perception shaping your reality, making you think you are being persecuted. Of course there are bigots. I'm not one. I can have my opinion as you can have yours. I don't feel the need to designate titles for other people. I do, however, feel free to describe the actions. If those two different things are the same in your eyes, then I cannot even entertain a conversation with you. Such rash equivocations are silly in my view. No malice. No desire to interact. Titles for people =/= describing an action. I don't care who you sleep with. I don't care how many people you sleep with. If I'm trying to be with you, it is important to me. You think I'm petty, childish, immature, silly, archaic? Fine. Feel how you feel. I'll warn you that such is heavily bordering on hypocrisy. "I can have an opinion about who is engaged in sex but you cannot have an opinion about how many people I engage in sex"? Lol...same shit. Opinions don't match. Fundamental differences in perspective lead toward incompatibility. It doesn't stop there. Move on. Grow up. You wanted to be you, right? Then why be mad that somebody else wants to be who they are? Everything is muted from that point forward.
Slut shaming is baseless beyond purposeless persecution. You aren't interested in her? Then look away. Stay concerned on your own plate. Nosy folk piss me off. Mind your business. Let them live. Just don't come to me with triple my body count and think I'm gonna be alright with that. What else are you bringing to the table that levels shit out. You get to bring more baggage, but everything else equal? There will be tremendous fighting and I don't want to do that with someone who didn't have faith that I existed. It means something to me. If it doesn't mean something to you, then you've already assaulted my ego three times with one instance. One for how my desire; one for making me feel more common for having shared you with more people and one for taking everything I am and saying it isn't significant to you. Why would you want to hurt somebody like that? You may not care about frogs and lily ponds but the frog cares.
Slut shaming is just another way to say, I want an opinion of how you live your life. I don't. Fuck 99% of the world if you want. Just don't come to me, lying, hiding or refusing to elucidate on your past. Those are grounds for dismissal and signs of incompatibility. Why would you want that? It isn't about slut shaming. It is about remaining accountable to the choices you've made in your life. There are men in every walk of life that you could match with. As you are, there is no guarantee that anybody can match with you. Always move towards growth. If you don't want to do that, then recognize that that is a personal choice. And fuck off with playing the victim. beautiful women have passed on me often. I have passed on beautiful women. shit happens. I don't really care. I did when it happened but I look back and gloat gratefully that I was allowed to proceed unencumbered. My growth is the most important thing to me. Women have come to me; pledged to me their entire being; begged to have my children, to be my wife and left me alone all within the same week. Not just one woman either. I say that to say, be grateful when someone would rather diminish you than nurture you. There are too many people on this planet. You aren't required to stay where you are...and if you are, then you're to blame. Get up and move. Tis a big planet. It's only a small world when your world is small. Your world is small only when your mind is small. Your mind is small when you know everything. Seek to not know everything.
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